Transformers: Just a “Guy Flick”?

Okay so this doesn’t really tie into being roundly shaped or fat rights.  It is more related to my budding feminism awareness in the world around me.  The hubby and I went to see the second Transformers movie on Tuesday. A lot of it was similar to the first film (aptly described here) While it was certainly a fantastic smash of metal action blurring across the screen and blood-pumping “RAWR” fight scenes there are a few twitchy little problems I had with it that I wanted to write down and let percolate here for a bit.  There are plenty of spoilers for anyone who hasn’t watched it.  If you wish to see it without an influenced mind; please beware.

**Spoilers Start About Here**

So, we have this great movie about robots that come to Earth and want to protect us by being cars and watching us in the background; transforming to bad-ass butt-kicking robot-machines any time we really need the help.  Sure, fine.  I can suspend disbelief in order to enjoy a brainless summer fluff movie.  I can even forgive that the movie was basically a ludicrous twisting of a childhood favorite, filled with blatant and subtle inaccuracies; I’ll just pretend it is not quite the same world but still full of cool freakin’ giant robots: I dig it. I even love that the awkward lovers’ quarrel section of the movie was only about a minute long: rock on! And hey, you didn’t really rag too much on the fat father figure either so that was mildly pleasant.

What I DON’T really like is how about halfway through the movie I REALLY began to feel a lack of any female parts of any importance in the film.  It was NOTICEABLE just how few females of any kind were in this movie.  Let me rephrase: There very few women at all and there are no freaking useful women roles ANYWHERE in this damn movie.  Anywhere.  There is a Decepticon woman at the start (because, you know, apparently the transformers are now able to become people just like the second terminator or something) who is trying to …I guess rape the male lead?  It isn’t clear if she wants to kill him or just try to screw information out of him really.  But right, right I said I wouldn’t forget to suspend disbelief…fine. So we do have this sexed-up college-kitten of a robot.  Check.

Looking worried cleavage shot here

Other than this “evil” woman (who gets killed near the beginning by the way so her pretty powerful persona is squashed almost as soon as we discover how bad-ass she could have been); we have one other woman: the girlfriend.  Big boobs, copious hair-flipping and lip closeups; able to run through basically a robot war zone with scarcely a scratch or smudge on her un-wrinkled clothing…but she does nothing of note.  Aside from providing eye-candy in a border-line porn-esque manner at points; she really serves no useful purpose.  She runs around with the male lead while holding his hand and looks worried.

Oh, okay.  She does two things of note in the entire almost 3 hour movie: she “captures” a mini Decepticon that at one point humps her freaking leg and she is driving the car when it smashes the previously mentioned succubus Decepticon into a light pole (which is apparently more lethal to a transformer than being completely slammed into a stone building by another huge freaking robot…but again; whatever.  Suspended disbelief.)  Those are her two contributions.  In almost 3 hours of film.

Hold my hand! Then we can...uh..run faster somehow??

Otherwise she only runs, cries, and is even incapable of performing basic CPR on the lead male character, her boyfriend. (Though hey, the movie-magic of Girl-Tears brings him back to life basically anyways so YAY!)

The male lead’s mother is the only other line-having woman of any note…and all SHE does is cry about her “baby” leaving to college; somehow get and act “drunk” on one weed brownie (embarrassing Sam in a mortifying and stupid string of ways; all for his first day of college); and convince Sam’s father that Sam really should be left alone to grow up… or something… later in the film.

What you do NOT see is any sort of woman in the US/Jordanian armed forces portrayed throughout the film.  Not as a captain, not even a lieutenant.  No one.  All men or boys dressed for war.  No women marines or ground troops (even on the US part of the film, not even going into the Jordan/Egypt part).  Not a single female of non-sexy eye-candy status to be seen.  In almost 3 hours.  Nothing.  Also, the only female transformers aside from “sex-bot” are three motorcycles who get blasted away the moment they have a freaking spoken line.

I mean…come ON!  Not even ONE competent female character?  Either emotional stereotypes of the mother or girlfriend…or a bad-guy sex-a-tron killed off in the first 1/3rd of the film? What about the female autobots’ leader of the Autobots??? If indeed she was intended to be one of those three motorbike women, what the frick?  She’s incapable of not basically RUNNING INTO bullets?!??! And how about some of her fellow autobot women? ANYTHING! I mean sure, even back in the 80’s there were few female autobots: but at they at least EXISTED and were halfway COMPETENT!!!

Yeah, this is her being all "technical" so she has...a personality to go with that arse?

I guess what I’d like to say is that more people in the entertainment industry than just Disney/Pixar needs to hear this cry:  No More “Princesses”! Please?  Can we have some intelligent, strong, witty FEMALE leads?  Or even secondary characters whose main point of interest isn’t how they mange to drape their half-naked asses around a motorcycle as they paint it with a sexy demon “tattoo”?

No more of this useless “Running along with the lead character just because the guys want to see boobs bouncing despite the fact that the female character attached to those breasts is actually useless for the majority of the film” crap, okay?  Let the MAN be dragged around for a bit while the woman character figures the puzzle out using her BRAIN, right? (You know, that bit of gray matter about a foot above her tits?)  How about a few females in the military (because yeah saying in the credits “Thanks to the men and women of the armed forces” really doesn’t say as much as actually HAVING a similar representation of both sexes in a movie).

In short: Not just “Guys” dig giant robots beating on each other.  How about a bit of representation here?  No?  Shame. Just think of the amazing market there would be for a film with strong male AND female characters… you can even keep the sex-bot crap (maybe toss in a MALE sex-bot…eh, eh?)…just stop with the useless female princess stereotype already mass entertainment!!!

Now THIS is more what I'm talking about!!

 

A historical perspective: Why are we Fat?

In my job I have cause to flip through seemingly endless pages of journals; checking for the completeness and clean look of each issue.  (Hey folks, just remember that photocopies exist in libraries…stop ripping out pages or marking them with pens/pencils, k?)  And in my flipping through one science title I’ve found many interesting articles regarding Fat and/or Obesity.  This journal goes back a long way.  I’m talking about “Science News” (previously titled “The Science News-Letter”) and here I want to share a few article titles and quotes from issues throughout the decades.

Something that I find very notable, is how some quotes will reference knowledge as explicit or “established” which, even today, is pooh-poohed away as erroneous or simply delusions of lazy fatties (*cough*DietsDon’tWork*cough* *sneeze*GenesPlayALargePart*sneeze*).

I’ve cited each tidbit for anyone wishing to pursue any entire articles.*  Any bolding is my own and is added as an emphasis to points I find interesting.

“Fatness May be Hereditary.”  The Science News-Letter, Vol. 8, No. 260 (Apr. 3, 1926), p. 4

“Since it has been established that the rate of metabolism, or exchange of food into energy, of the obese is normal, some physiologists have tried to account for the surplus of fat on the grounds of heredity… As one authority has remarked, the large amount of public interest in obesity is in marked contrast to the small amount of scientific information. We do not yet really know why the fat are fat.“

“Goldfish Experiments May Explain Cause of Obesity.” The Science News-Letter, Vol. 21, No. 574 (Apr. 9, 1932), p. 231

“Two of the fish were fed beef muscle and the other two were fed and equal amount by weight of ground up glandular substance from the reproductive glands of a ram. The ones getting the beef muscle gained more weight than those getting the glandular substance….this may have a bearing on the cause and treatment of obesity.”

“Dieting Improves Health of Over-Fat Children.” The Science News-Letter, Vol. 28, No. 764 (Nov. 30, 1935), pp. 340-341

“Since some of the overweight of obesity is due to the retention of water by the body tissues, especially when a high carbohydrate diet is eaten, fluids were limited to 15 to 20 ounces daily, and salt not to exceed 15 grains, because it, too, is concerned with water storage in the body.”

“Record-Breaking Case of Weight Reduction Reported.” The Science News-Letter, Vol. 40, No. 8 (Aug. 23, 1941), p. 116

“She has always been a ‘fat girl’…Since it seemed unlikely that she could exercise sufficient self-control during the reducing period, she was placed in a nursing home where she would have no chance of raiding the pantry, no matter how hungry she became.  Total calories were between 600 and 800 a day…the patient was anything but comfortable at times, and complained of nausea and abdominal pains. “

“Growth-Rate of Human Body Fixed Even before Birth Growth-Rate of Human Body Fixed Even before Birth.” The Science News-Letter, Vol. 41, No. 15 (Apr. 11, 1942), p. 231

“Long before we are born, probably from the hour of conception itself, the rate at which our bodies will grow has been established, and with it also the rates of growth of the various parts of our bodies. “

“Find First Evidence for Inherited Obesity in Mice Find First Evidence for Inherited Obesity in Mice.” The Science News-Letter, Vol. 59, No. 13 (Mar. 31, 1951), p. 195

“For the first time, evidence of a hereditary obesity in mice has been discovered. The hereditary trait is a recessive, and it is also the first evidence for such a trait in any animal other than man.”

“Early Second Teeth May Foretell Overweight.” The Science News-Letter, Vol. 62, No. 19 (Nov. 8, 1952), p. 300

“Children who get their second teeth early may be destined to be fat little boys and girls and overweight men and women struggling with reducing diets.”

“Motive Needed to Make Men Try to Lose Weight.” The Science News-Letter, Vol. 67, No. 6 (Feb. 5, 1955), p. 94

“Needed: A motivating force, social, fashion or otherwise, to make men ’strive for slimness’ the way women have.“

“Winning the Weight Battle.” The Science News-Letter, Vol. 85, No. 15 (Apr. 11, 1964), pp. 230+239

“If you want to have normal weight you can – if you are normal and have will power. …[P]atients most likely to be successful in weight reduction have the following characteristics: 5. Obesity developed in adult life rather than in childhood. 6. They have no previous history of losing weight and then putting it all back on again.”

“Curing the Obese; Diuretics Questioned” Science News, Vol. 92, No. 16 (Oct. 14, 1967), pp. 377+379

“The idea that excessive weight is partly the result of too much water is a medical hypothesis that has gained considerable currency. … Pharmaceutical companies continue to advertise, even in their displays outside the conference hall, the ‘precious adjuvant’ that diuretics are in obesity therapy. One actually claimed that obesity is ‘always’ linked to water retention.”

“Obesity and Behavior” Science News, Vol. 106, No. 5 (Aug. 3, 1974), p. 76

“Consider the chastity-belt theory of fatness, for instance. Chastity belts are no longer in vogue, but some insecure husbands may have come up with an equally cruel method of trying to keep their wives from fooling around. [H]usbands sometimes encourage their wives to overeat and gain weight in order to keep the wives unattractive and, supposedly, faithful. While most purely medical approaches to weight loss yield a success rate of about 10 percent, McConnell and Smith claim that their behavioral clinic has a success rate of better than 70 percent. Not everyone, of course, can lose weight on their own by the behavior method.”

“Jaw Wiring: Tough Anti-Obesity Weapon.” Science News, Vol. 112, No. 2 (Jul. 9, 1977), p. 23

“Medical approaches to helping extremely obese patients to lose weight – agents to increase diet bulk, suppress appetite and induce malabsorption – are not particularly successful. Intestinal bypass surgery may be more effective but it can physically harm if not kill patients… Jaw wiring appears to be fairly well tolerated by patients and is as effective as, but safer than, intestinal bypass surgery for the extremely obese. The major risk – choking – is minimized by correct posturing during vomiting.”

“Weight Watchers: We Weigh a Bit More.” Science News, Vol. 113, No. 2 (Jan. 14, 1978), p. 22

“Obesity stands accused in a wide range of medical problems, but there has been no good estimate of its prevalence in the United States…. Although the Health and Nutrition Examination Survey collected data on heights and weights of the participants, the obesity results are based on measurements of the thickness of a pinch of skin…. This standard is based on the concept that a healthy adult should not become fatter with age. Patterns of adult weight gain, however, are apparent in the data collected in the survey. This survey is intended as a start to a national nutrition surveillance system…”

“Hypertension and Weight Control Hypertension and Weight Control.” Science News, Vol. 113, No. 3 (Jan. 21, 1978), p. 39

“Numerous studies have reinforced the link between obesity and hypertension, and weight loss has been associated repeatedly with a decrease in blood pressure. But reduced salt intake and drug therapy, not weight loss, are often called for in the treatment of hypertension. Classic studies… established salt consumption as a casual factor in hypertension and suggested that a drop in blood pressure with weight loss was due entirely to a concurrent decrease in salt intake.”

“The Fat American” Science News, Vol. 113, No. 12 (Mar. 25, 1978), pp. 188-189

“The bulk of the research thus far suggests – in contrast to some previously held opinions – that ‘there is no single kind of obesity and no one obese personality type’. ‘Fat people are more easily aroused’, says the psychologist. ‘They are more susceptible to food cues – food turns them on!’ ‘We don’t know if it [the mechanism] is [primarily] genetically predisposed or acquired,’ says Rodin. ‘But we know that being fat can keep you fat and for many people its a losing battle. Of all the human frailties obesity is perhaps the most perverse.’”

“Don’t Overestimate the Power of Diet.” Science News, Vol. 117, No. 22 (May 31, 1980), p. 343

“The people who brought you the Recommended Daily Allowances for essential nutrients hold that scientific information is not yet adequate to provide much in further guidelines for a healthful diet to prevent disease.”

“Chemical Clue to Obesity Found.” Science News, Vol. 118, No. 19 (Nov. 8, 1980), p. 295

“Overeating may not be the only cause of obesity, says three Harvard Medical School researchers in the Oct 30 New England Journal of Medicine. Their finding of a cellular defect in obese people may indicate why some people maintain their weight on a diet that causes obesity in others.“

“New Weight-Height Chart: It’s OK to Weigh a Little More than Before.” Science News, Vol. 123, No. 11 (Mar. 12, 1983), p. 165

“…within each age group extremely thin, as well as extremely fat, people have higher mortality rates. …the new weight/height chart reflects the same thing the old one did:…People should strive to be neither excessively overweight nor excessively underweight.“

“Weighty Problems More Fat than Fancy.” Science News, Vol. 127, No. 8 (Feb. 23, 1985), p. 119

“While estimating that 34 million people in the United States are more than 20 percent over their ideal weight, the panel bemoaned the lack of a good standard weight table that takes into consideration age, build and whether a 6 foot tall 220 pounder happens to be a muscular football player or an idle endomorph. In the absence of such a table they recommend the 1983 Metropolitan Life Insurance Co. tables. Several of those who presented data to the panel were not particularly please with the life insurance tables.”

“Weight Loss: An Unwinnable War?” Science News, Vol. 127, No. 13 (Mar. 30, 1985), p. 195

“Except for certain risky surgical treatments there is no truly successful means of permanent weight loss available today. Since the five year failure rate of the most closely monitored weight loss treatments hovers at over 95 percent, and since repeated attempts to lose weight are much more strongly correlated with degenerative diseases (and eating disorders) than fatness per se, one wonders what the medical profession has accomplished with the recent NIH conference which declared that ‘obesity is a health-threatening condition’ (”Weighty problems more fat than fancy”). They may voe to fight fat, but with what weapons?”

“Metabolism Studies Predict Obesity.” Science News, Vol. 132, No. 20 (Nov. 14, 1987), p. 309

“Common sense might say that a ’slow’ metabolism makes a person more likely to become overweight. While scientists have found this a difficult notion to confirm, one group has shown that a low metabolic rate is indeed a risk factor for obese Indians of southern Arizona.“

“Body Shape: In the Eye of the Receptor?” Science News, Vol. 133, No. 4 (Jan. 23, 1988), pp. 54-55

“The shape of our bodies – whether bottom-heavy or thick-in-the-middle – may be related to hormone-binding structures on the surface of fat cells. As a result, while we may be able to shrink in size, changing our proportions through dieting may be nearly impossible…”

“Cyclic Weight Gain May Harm the Heart Cyclic Weight Gain May Harm the Heart.” Science News, Vol. 139, No. 26 (Jun. 29, 1991), p. 407

“It may be worse to have lost pounds and regained them then never to have dieted at all – from a life-expectancy standpoint, at least. ‘Persons whose body weight fluctuates often or greatly have a higher risk of coronary heart disease and death than do persons with relatively stable body weights.’”

“Fanfare over Finding First Fat Gene.” Science News, Vol. 146, No. 23 (Dec. 3, 1994), p. 372

“Eight years of genetic sleuthing finally paid off this week for scientists seeking to understand the much studied, much lamented problem of obesity. For the first time, molecular geneticists have identified and made copies of a gene essential for keeping the body’s weight stable... Yet even if these obese mice don’t slim down, the discovery should have far-reaching effects. ‘I think it will change the way we think about obesity and the way we do obesity research…’”

“A Toxic Side of Weight Loss.” Science News, Vol. 166, No. 3 (Jul. 17, 2004), pp. 35-36

“Weight loss is only frustrating, its also complicated. Scientists expect a person’s metabolism to slow as he or she loses weight, but there’s sometimes more of a drop than the equations predict. Researchers call this excessive slowdown ‘adaptive thermogenesis’, although they don’t fully understand why the body’s internal furnace sometimes changes efficiency in what seems to be an effort to minimize weight loss.“

“Weight-Loss Costs.” Science News, Vol. 168, No. 17 (Oct. 22, 2005), pp. 260-261

“Obese people who opt for weight-loss surgery incur increased odds of subsequent hospitalization and, in some groups, a substantial risk of death… Even so, some of the scientists say those risks may be justified.”

“XXL from Too Few Zs?.” Science News, Vol. 169, No. 13 (Apr. 1, 2006), pp. 195-196

“Skimping on sleep might cause obesity, diabetes. Widespread sleep deprivation could partly explain the current epidemics of both obesity and diabetes, emerging data suggest.”

“Inherited Burden? Early Menarche in Moms Tied to Obesity in Kids.” Science News, Vol. 171, No. 17 (Apr. 28, 2007), pp. 259-260

“Women who reach puberty at an unusually early age are more likely to have children who are overweight, a study finds. Meanwhile, scientists noted that early menarche runs in families.”

“Weighting for Friends: Obesity Spreads in Social Networks.” Science News, Vol. 172, No. 4 (Jul. 28, 2007), p. 51

“Although a variety of personality traits influence weight gain, obesity is socially contagious, moving from person to person through networks of friends and relatives, a new investigation finds. Genes and other biological factors influence individuals’ weights ‘but genes can’t explain the obesity epidemic of the past 30 years’ Gillman says.”

“Ear infections make fatty food sound good” Science News Magazine, Aug. 20, 2008.

“”Childhood ear infections may not just put hearing at risk. Kids who get them may develop a strong affinity for fatty foods and could be predisposed to obesity, surveys now suggest. Researchers suspect that infections of the middle ear may alter the sense of taste by damaging a nerve that carries sensations from the tongue to the brain.”

Here are some thoughts I have after going through this long (but far from comprehensive) list of results for a search of “Obesity”:

1. Much, if not all, of the above research from the earliest times are beginning with the idea that Fat is the aberrant body form. There is no research indicated which simply does not assume that being “over” a particular weight is the aberration to be explored.
2. Research continues to find (and yet scientists continue to be “surprised”) that weight seems to be linked to genetics; yet this is always ended with the “NO Excuse to stop aiming for thin-dom” line because writers and researchers alike seem to feel that such findings might make people not only feel okay with their bodies but might mean they would *gasp* stop dieting if indeed there was not strong evidence that it would ever work to make them thinner permanently!
3. The number one underlying assumption that seems to fuel any research in regards to fat is that “Fatties Overeat”.  Whether they are trying to explain how we somehow don’t KNOW we’re overeating, whether we have broken metabolisms, whether we don’t get that satiety signal soon enough…the fault either lies with something broken that makes us gobble down calories with wild abandon…or a lack of freaking will-power that makes us slovenly excuses for flesh-sacks unable to get off the TV chair to work off the doughnuts.  Just look above at the plethora of ways, throughout time, that research has tried to link obesity to overeating and the (sometimes horrific) list of ways crafted to “combat” this Impulse to Indulge.
4. If not a cause of simply not knowing when to stop eating food; research is determined to find the most insane possible reason that fat happens to exist in more prevalence for some of us.  Brown fat? Virus? Too much water? Not enough sleep? Early Onset Menarche? Ear Infections?!?!?
5. Has there honestly never been research performed that DIDN’T involve making a force-fed mouse obese “magically” thin through various means?  Does no one ever stop to think that yes, maybe the folks who DO have an easy time losing weight are those who gained later in life above the natural set point (such as is the case with force-fed mice)?  That maybe folks who have been life-long fatties aren’t really lying when they insist they do NOT eat all day long while lounging on the Bon-Bon Couch and perhaps are AT their body’s natural size already???

If nothing else, perhaps this little time-line of headlines can show just how far we’ve come…and how little progress we’ve made.

• They STILL do not know how to make a fat person permanently thin.
• Surprise still coats the face of any science that shows again and again that genes tend to support a diversity of size and shape in the human population
• Similar shock taints any research showing again that “overweight” or even “obese” may not pose the Dire Health consequences that might be  feared for common sense’s sake: “..according to the authors’ findings, compared to ‘normal’ BMIs, ‘overweight’ (BMI 25-<30) and ‘obese’ (BMI 30 up to 35, which includes about 80% of all obese people) are associated with a 25% to 12% lower risk of dying. And the risks associated with the ‘morbidly obese’ (BMIs 35+) are statistically the same as those with ‘normal’ BMIs.

So at the end of the day: Try to take scientific findings, and the media wrapped trappings in which they reach our ears, with a grain of salt.  (But remember, no more than 15 a day!) Remember that the more things change, the more things stay the same.  And no matter how many times it is excitedly reported “New Gene Found: Might be Cause of Obesity! (But…you should totally still diet…uh…because Fat: EW!)”; it is not new news folks….it is a song that has been sung for many a decade.  And it has still not manged to “cure” the Fat. So, Why are we Fat?  As said in the 1920’s:  “We do not yet really know why the fat are fat.”  Still.

*JSTOR is a fantastic database for looking up these older issues.  Check if your school or local library has a subscription!

 

Teaching yourself to learn new things

For a while I’ve been not so much avoiding but not enjoying belly-dancing as much.  I started swimming and then with classes and work and part-time work and some stress; perhaps the joy in the dance just sorta waned.  But the other night my joy for the movement and fun returned as I found a new set of moves that I am trying to combine: hip slides AND shimmies*.

Along with trying to layer a handful of other moves on top of shimmies I have been working this week on getting not only my shimmies back up to par after a month away from seriously practicing them; but also I’ve been learning.  I’m learning that sometimes we get bored of the same-old same-old thing.  Even if it is something we love to do.  Or eat.  Or watch.  Or whatever.  Sometimes you need that little bit of “new” to make an old hobby or favorite food have a little “rebirth” in your mind.

For me it was finding out there was a whole world of move layering that I could start working on that revitalized my interest in belly dancing in earnest again.  (Also helps that I haven’t felt like swimming in all this gray weather for some reason!)

On a mostly related note: Last night I did a calorie count-up of what I eat in a day.  Just to spend a moment of curiosity looking at whether keeping away from intense counting of said calories really meant I was somehow allowing myself to overeat with wild abandon or some such nonsense.  Turns out that what I eat in an average day is less that I need even if I were SEDENTARY (by which they mean less than 30 minutes of “moderate” activity a day) to maintain my current weight according to online calorie needs calculators.  Verily, using the measurements given I should (if Energy IN = Energy OUT) be losing a pound every 9 days.  Not even counting the exercise mind you.  Just some more “learning” food for thought there.

So on this morning I say to you: teach yourself to learn something new today.  Whether it is finding that there is a new aspect of your old hobby or trying some new combination of foods just to shake things up a bit or looking at old information that has always just been part of “How Things Work” and reevaluating if those “rules” really apply to real life: you are never too “old” (read: set in the ways of the habitual) to learn something new!

*Oh, for those interested, this is the move I’m talking about:

 

New hair is here

Just wanted to share that I have my new hair style and exhilarate in the feeling of no hair on the back of my neck.  I’m also celebrating the progress I’ve been making in the group of crazy assignments I’ve had for the quick summer class I’m taking for my Masters in Library Science.  It is a whirlwind of Management Principles work over here I tell ya!

Also if you’re looking for meatier interactions to fill your time between this and my next post; please stop by at the comments back and forth on this post or over at this blog between myself and Veronica (and Patsy too here).  Perhaps some folks would argue that it is best mentally to stay away completely from anyone not fully on-board with everything proposed at FA blogs (such as my own here)…but I think we all had to start somewhere on this crazy self-acceptance train ride.  And I’m just too much a sunshiny person not to let “Hope Springs Eternal” fill me up when pulled into a discussion with people who are willing to actually engage with anything other than eye-rolling-ly blatant troll-speak. Breaking down the barriers between my safety zone and speaking to people outside of the small sphere here might indeed bring new ideas to both of us… I refuse to think otherwise!

Gotta get my sunshine anyway I can at this rate (1 day without rain in the past 10 or so).  So, from the still soggy state of Massachusetts… Have a great weekend and remember to do something crazy fun; even if it is just a slow-motion Slow-Loris Leap (as I’ve dubbed this pose)

Slow Loris Leaps...slowly.

 

Fun and hair

Okay well I’m about to embark on a new hair adventure because I’ve realized I HATE having my hair on my neck and in my eyes.  I’m also completely dis-inclined to ever use a blow-dryer.  No really.  Not even for 5 minutes.  Hate using it.  Need something simple.

SO with that in mind I’ve been looking at images and trying to decide upon a haircut.  Since I’m in a bouncy mood and can’t seem to focus much on crafting a good response to a comment/question left by Veronica at an earlier thread (I’m working on it, trust me!) I thought I’d share my silly hair-mussings instead.

Needs to be SHORTER. (NO blowdryer time.  I can’t be bothered).  This means at most wash, dry and run gel through it. Bam!

FUN and sassy.  Layers, spikes, whatever

Not SO short that Adam D cries (I prefer if he didn’t grow a beard so I’m willing to compromise and agree not to shave my head entirely or near bald in exchange)

Auburn color with good distinct highlights

OPTION 3 Image removed (link broken)

Any other good ideas out there for easy-to-maintain short hairstyles? Sites you enjoy going to for hair advice? (Ones that don’t say “If you have a round face avoid short hair” and such nonsense?)And if you really don’t give a darn what I do with my hair I offer for your amusement this Wednesday: Slow Loris

 

On feeling… “Normal”

“But…how will I know when I’m BETTER??!?!”

This is a question I was asked a few months ago by a friend who was recently diagnosed with that tricky beast known as Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and was going through various treatments with widely varying levels of success.  While my initial reaction to the question was to shrug and reply “When you feel normal again?” I’ve actually been thinking about the question a lot. What does “better” or “normal” actually mean in terms of each individual’s personal perception of health?  Is “normal” for each individual even a static state of being or is it a fluid state flux?

Perhaps I should back up a bit to put into context why my friend was even asking me the question.  All of my life I have dealt with what has since (and only very recently) been diagnosed as IBS.  What does that mean?  Well quite simply for me, all growing up, “normal” was always feeling a bit crampy and wiggly in the stomach; especially after eating.  It seemed no matter what I ate or didn’t there was always a constant pressure building in my digestive tract which warned me that staying more that a brief sprint from the nearest bathroom could prove… undesirable.

Anytime I ate I KNEW that within 20 minutes the stronger digestive gurgling would begin and the next few hours would be a touch-and-go game of bathroom tag.  This was life.  Riding on long trips became a matter of mind-over-matter as I tried to CONVINCE myself that I wasn’t in intestinal pain and didn’t REALLY have to use that next rest stop that was fast approaching. I learned to function this way.  I knew no other way to live.  8-12 times a day my digestion would win over and send me running to the bathroom to play the doubled-over-in-pain game of …we’ll just say “ick”.  I coped and figured that was just how everyone else must do it too.  My parents thought I was obsessed with seeing the inside of any and every bathroom in the world but I just figured they must be teasing me about something everyone else had to deal with too.

If I was going to be on a long trip I learned to just not eat anything beforehand.  If I didn’t know when I’d be near a bathroom again I would just avoid eating and deal with the low-grade constant pain I’d grown accustomed to instead of having to deal with those tougher bouts of sharp pain and urgent urges.  Once I learned to drive I took a roll of toilet paper as a just in case.  I learned to ease my stomach’s cramps with mental relaxation techniques to get through long journeys if I had to eat at some point (6-7 hour trips to college for example) and always chanted to myself as a calming reminder that if I HAD to I was always allowed to pull over to the side of the road as a last resort.  Any hour WITHOUT that constant feeling of “blah” was enjoyed with the trepidation that comes from knowing it would not last.  Menstrual cramps added to it made for 3 days of torture every month.

But, that was life.  That WAS “normal” to me.  It was only about a year ago, when things started to get even a bit worse, that I finally said “No.  Enough!  This is no longer how I want “normal” to feel. There has to be a better way.”  I met and spoke with my amazing gastro-enterologist.  Had some testing.  And got what I call my little life-giving pills.

Once a day I take a pill that has stopped my stomach from doing its normal little cramp-dance-flip-flops of doom.  No longer does every day pass in a low-thrum of intestinal pain accentuated by post-eating dire straights.  The first week that I felt this freedom from pain and a drastic drop in such urgent runs to the bathroom it was like a whole new world opened up to me.  As wonderful as putting on my first pair of glasses and SEEING those little spring twigs on the trees; I felt ALIVE!  I wasn’t tied to a need for the bathroom for the first time.  EVER.

I didn’t eyeball meals with a look ahead to whether I’d be within walking distance of a bathroom in the next 20 minutes.  I could eat and then go shopping or take a hike in the woods or ANYTHING!  Driving was not always a matter of mapping the route with the most bathrooms. And this wonderful feeling continues still today.  I may have to take a pill each day to ensure it does but now that low-grade pain is NOT the norm for me.  My definition of “normal”; my view of “better” is changed.

It is not always perfect, this new version of “normal”.  Indeed there has been a long and continuous process of learning; a curve that will likely go on for quite some time; where I’m discovering foods to avoid that trigger those acute episodes reminiscent of my youth.  I’m adding fiber pills to supplement my already pretty leafy meals and have had to stop chewing sugar-free gum (which, for someone with a chewing obsession has proved to be very difficult).  Yet after praying at one point that there was SOMETHING to diagnose as “wrong” with me so that there was something tangible to FIX; these small actions are a drop in the bucket and well worth it to me.

So, at the end of all this I have to say that now I get through the rougher parts of my menstrual cycle (which are still shaky and “wiggly” for my digestion) and look forward with relief to feeling “normal” again; to feeling “better” once more. I’ve learned that feeling “better” is different to me now than it was before.  Yet both versions of the feeling were/are what I, at the time, decided was “bearable”; “livable”.

So when my friend asked how she could know she was finally feeling “Better” (Is it when you get to a certain number of bathroom runs per day?  Is it when you can eat certain food without getting those urgent cramps? How do you KNOW?!??!) I answered, “When you feel normal again?”  And you know what?  After all this rambling reflection I have to say that I’d stick with my answer.  Feeling better isn’t measurable by the same metrics for each person.  This is where we get into trouble in trying to define “healthy” or “normal” across entire populations.  There IS no one single defining feeling of “normal” to experience.

Each and everyone of us will experience “normal” as our own personal definitions of the word. I truly believe that there IS no universal constant for “normal”.  You can try to set up measurements of size or shape or the number of pills taken or how many weights you can lift in order to decide if someone is indeed “healthy” or “normal” or “better”.  But at the end of the day, all that matters is that YOU are able to reflect upon how you feel and say “Yeah, I feel pretty much normal”.  How that actually feels to you may not match how it feels for anyone else in the world and will likely be ever-changing as you age and move through life’s experiences.

No matter how you personally define it; I find that “normal” is an individual reality that reflects the bare minimum level of health (mental, physical, emotional) that you will put up with.  And no ONE version of it is better than the other.  So, how DO you know when you’re better??  It’s when you feel like YOU again.

 

Quick Note: Next they’ll be after our head room

If you thought that airlines were only after your hip-space; think again: leg room is going to be further reduced as well (or may have already BEEN reduced).  Long-legged?  Airlines don’t care.  Maybe tall folks need to just go on and shrink a bit too, eh?

Costs are being cut everywhere in airlines: no free meals, barely a grudgingly give “snack”; yet you aren’t allowed to BRING drinks of your own (unless you’re good at packing tiny 3 oz servings of juice and lasting for a flight on those); the number of bathrooms are cut, seat width is reduced and now seat pitch….when does it end?

Another head-shaking example that truly in this sort of capitalism there is NO concern for the passengers or patrons.  The bottom line is always profit, not quality.  So I wonder…who is next in this cramping?  What room will airlines save if they can next get rid of a bit more shoulder room to cram in another column of seating?  Might make things tighter around those broad-shoulders folks but who knows; it might be coming.

Just an interesting twist in the ever declining service provided by the very expensive public transport we call “flying” that I wanted to point out. Is air travel going to go the way of trans-Atlantic ship travel??  What would replace it if the airlines are all truly in such dire economic straights and will not be able to continue?

 

What does Time change?

Overcoming Obesity in America (Time Magazine Cover page)

I was linked by Boing Boing to an interesting piece this morning listing the Top 10 Most Absurd Time Covers done by ReasonOnline.  I wanted to share because the commentary for the cover pictured to your right is rather refreshing.

Here’s a bit of an intro snippet to the concept behind making the list:

“[S]ince the British sociologist Stanley Cohen defined the moral panic phenomenon in the early 1970s as hysterical overreactions to imagined threats to social order, no publication has done a better (by which we mean worse) job of scaring the crap out of post-baby boomer America than Time, the top-selling newsweekly that’s dropping subscribers like the mythical meth mouth drops teeth.

On the Obesity panic cover Time offers up Radley Balko offers a few bits of “Settle Down” logic and science to combat those scare tactic statistics the media loves to throw around; including the 400,000 Deaths By Fat per year and Fatties Costing More for Health care bits that appear all the time when folks are trying to convince their readers of just how AWFUL fat is for each person AND THE WORLD!

I think that this one line in the critique “Moreover, while Americans have been getting fatter for 25 years” needs to take the same care in wording used for the rest of the scare tactics Time presents that teh author works on deconstructing.  After all, the media just seems to love to throw in this “Common sense” phrase without acknowledging that it too is often just used to increase the sense of panic about Expanding Waistlines OMG without putting a bit of context in there.

“Over the time period that you’ve heard that the obesity rates have quote “doubled” or gone up by 70 percent, the average weight gain is 7 to 10 pounds” “Going back forty years, by the way, we’ve also gained an inch in height”

But that is just a tiny quibble. I feel that overall it was a nice little piece to see this morning.

Science: kinda refreshing once in a while y’all. You might enjoy some of the other covers shown too.  Some interesting things to reflect upon on what is, here in Massachusetts, the third or fourth very gray and misty spring day in a row!

 

Earning the right to live

“Most of us seem to believe that we have to EARN the right to live.” ~Patsy Nevins

This quote, in a comment for this post by commenter Patsy Nevins, has really struck a chord with me and been jingling around in my mind ever since, demanding its own post on the many ways we, as human beings, struggle to feel we must work to earn the right to exist.  First though, a bit of blog-style basics; then I’ll get back on topic I promise.

It seems that my post yesterday really struck a chord with many folks.  Not only does my little WordPress Dashboard show an amazing SPIKE in blog views but the comments were really very interesting: very pensive and many thoughtful things were and still are being said.

If you’re new to the blog: welcome! I enjoy discussions and look forward to your take on any of the self-acceptance issues I bring up. If you’re just stopping by to tell me I’m Obese and therefore lazy or undeserving of basic human respect; not only have you missed the entire point of this blog but you are truly reinforcing my decision to send all new comments to the moderation queue for approval first!  It is one thing to disagree with points I make; quite another to spew hateful bile all over my Internet Home here.  But as long as you’re not part of the latter crowd then we won’t have any troubles!

If you’re a long-time reader (as long as can be said for my blog at least): welcome back today!

With the “basics” out of the way above; let’s address the main point of today’s musings: how often many of us feel pressured (by outside forces or even our own internal self-flagellation) to PROVE that we have the right to be around; the right to breathe and take up space on the planet: the right to live life without being constantly harassed.

Take a quick glance through any news site online or click through a few commercials on TV (heck if you’re a fan of print then flip through a magazine or newspaper).  Now click or flip through again; only this time take note of the sheer volume of advertisements, op-ed pieces and reports on “studies” which are bent on telling you you’re never perfect.

You’re not pale enough, smooth enough, smart enough, rich enough, happy enough, working out enough or eating just right.  Or you just don’t weigh enough/the right amount.  After all, everyone can benefit from a simple 10% decrease in weight, right? When does that end? Do people not realize when reading such declarations in an ad that such things apply to EVERYONE? That this means the suggestion is for Every Single Person to lose just “10%” of their weight in order to enjoy Life’s Bounty?  Not just a Headless Fatty or some Other Person; this means YOU, everyone.

Yet that moves beyond even the confining restrictions of the BMI: saying 10% means no matter WHAT you weigh: YOU ARE NEVER DONE LOSING.  When does the need to change; to conform stop?  When do you finally WIN?  When does a life lived in peace and happiness and acceptance without the judgments of others thrust upon your body? When does life finally become your prize for all that “hard work”??

So many of us already know what it feels like to diet or exercise in an attempt to gain that coveted feeling of acceptance.  Working out becomes some sort of rite of passage.  Beyond the sweat-filled doors of fatigued tribute to the gods of slavish exercise in the name of Thin lies the promised land of Normal, Accepted, Well-adjusted Human who Finally Deserves to Live Life as they Want to.  Cutting calories becomes a similar payment for entrance into the Yea! Everyone Leaves me the Frick Alone Finally club. Yet, as many of us who have traveled these paths for so long without lasting success already know, the process is never done.  You never quite GET to the finish line.

This sort of pervasive attitude that “No matter what, you’re a work in progress” is what I feel makes so many people so insecure (and what possibly triggers so many of the defensive lashings against Fat Folks like myself who stick to their guns to declare “No.  I will no longer pay homage to the lords and ladies of Diets, Weight Loss as Happiness and Exercise as Punishment for Fat.  You can certainly continue to do so but it will never get you where you want to be emotionally so stop trying to drag me down with you”): and who can fault them/us?

How is it possible to find the level of confidence we’re supposed to be presenting to show our best face to the world; when that same world is constantly reminding us that no matter what we may do; we’ll never QUITE be “enough”; we’ll never REALLY PROVE that we’re doing everything just right.  Add in a few cases of folks just up and changing the rules on us and it’s a wonder anyone can make it through a day without at least once asking themselves, even subconsciously “Do I have the right now? Have I done enough to deserve good treatment, a happy life, basic respect?  Am I good enough?  Or at least not That Bad anymore???”

Self-respect and acceptance has a lot to do with truly finding comfort in who you are RIGHT NOW.  Yet with so many forces around us convincing us that no matter what who we are RIGHT NOW we always have work to do; how do we even GET to feel comfortable with who we are?? It is a vicious cycle of “I’m not good enough.  I’ll work harder.  But I still need to give at least 10% more.  So I’m STILL not good enough. I’ll work harder…..”  Round and round and at the end who has won?  You’ve worked into a lather, may even lost that weight…and still you’re told that you have further to go… And woe befall the fat person who is feeling lazy or like eating out in public: the have sinned against the Church of Thin and need constant reminders of how they should be pushing themselves to look even MORE hard working than their thinner peers.

Perhaps this sort of physical martyrdom mentality we all seem to internalize is a throwback to puritanism (you don’t complain, God gave you these trials for a reason; you must endure without complaint and try to do MORE) that is really damaging to a lot of minds and therefore bodies as we each try to push to do things we really shouldn’t/can’t without causing ourselves harm; just to prove that we are invulnerable; not mortal.

Maybe it’s thanks to folks like Richard Simmons who love to tell us that we should live with the mantra “No pain, no gain!”  But I disagree.  Pain is pain.  There is no gain in forcing yourself to levels of pain in an attempt to find acceptance.  Because no matter how hard you may push yourself to prove you’re not One of THOSE Fatties; you’ll be told you’re a liar or, at best, be seen as Still a Work in Progress.

This is the sort of thinking that needs to be changed.  None of us need to EARN the right to live.   We need to turn the focus of our anger from people we feel aren’t doing enough to deserve basic human dignity and instead blast the folks who benefit from convincing us all that, no matter what: we are Never. Quite. Good Enough.

 

Who LOOKS Fat vs. Who IS Fat

I have this problem, right? I don’t understand what people think they are describing when they talk about Fat People.  Now all you little happy trolls who just can’t wait to post and snark “Knew it.  Fatty don’t even know she fat.  Stupid Fatty” I know full well that there are others who feel I am beyond-help FAT with a capital FAT.  Yet I wanted to reflect upon the feeling I have that Fat always seems to be some sort of “othering” experience for people; haters or not.

What do I mean?  Well, it boils down to a belief people seem to have that No One they KNOW (or love, like, respect) is ever fat…or “Hugely Fat” or “OBESE GOING TO DIE GAAAH THE MEDIA TELLS ME TO FEAR THEM” fat…  Oh you might think someone is overweight but rarely do folks who know and love someone feel that they know anyone that is Headless Fatty Size and henceforth Doomed For Eternity. So tell me, What does it mean to be “FAT”?

If someone you know and loved called themselves fat you’d shake your head and deny it vehemently, right? At the very least you’d say “Oh no, you’re not THAT bad, maybe just a few more salads and walks”*  But why?  Because fatties are some sort of “other”, right?  Someone ELSE who is destroying the world one blobby, headless, SUV driving, McDonald’s snarfing, seat-overflowing, thigh-jiggling step at a time.  It is SOMEONE ELSE that is “teh fatty mc fatterson” that the news media and anyone who is anyone at all talks about all the time.  FAT isn’t your friend, or your neighbor, or that woman at the gym you look at enviously every time you go who seems to think she’s ‘Too Fat” and yet can run elliptical circles around some of the thinner ladies. Fat is…no one you know.  Because everyone you know is nice and…fat is just not nice right?  Fat is evil, sinful, lazy, no-good, will-less…it is just WRONG!

So what is it that makes someone cross that line from “Oh no, you’re not FAT!” into “Headless Fatty Dooming the World”? Is it just Adipose Tissue? “Too MUCH” of said tissue?  What is TOO much?  Who decides?  Is it just BMI? That can’t be the case because those numbers seem to keep dropping so that more and more people can be considered fat so it would be as though someone making decisions wants one day for the whole WORLD to think it is fat and that just couldn’t be, right?

Something else then…waist to hip ratios?  No?  That still doesn’t fit the bill, eh? Is it just going over a certain weight? No?  You don’t find out your friend who you love is 201 lbs and freak out, telling them they will die of Obesity, do you? Is there some arbitrary weight line drawn in the poundage sand?

No.  No. NO.  My point in all of this is that some people might find some of the above suggestions to fit their definition of what is FAT in a person who is a stranger; some mystically unknown “other”; a headless fatty.  BMI or Waist-Hip ratios or Simple Weight numbers exist…but you know what people actually end up judging as fat?  Looks.  Pure and simple.  It doesn’t matter if your pants label reads “0″ or “12″ or “36″ or “5 Blue”.  When someone looks at a stranger, regardless of how that stranger may fit into the size spectrum of their friends and loved ones: they can be fat.  Oh yes.  That little bit of muffin top showing through that size 2 tank top? Some stranger somewhere thinks it looks fat.  So many of the people you might dismiss, perhaps even wistfully, as “normal” are thought by someone else to be Fat. Perceptions are not unified…and that hate you might be joining in on could just as easily be turned your way.

So many people are living their own Fat Life; even if no one else realizes it.  Self-hatred seems to know no size limits.  I think that there is a whole size spectrum of Fat Experience: We are all living our own individual versions of the Fat Life.  And you don’t know what that life or experience has been merely by looking at the bodily package in which one person’s existence takes place.

The take-home message here is that judging by looks is really silly.  No one can tell how well I can breathe by judging the size of my nose; why should it make anymore sense to think you can tell how well I eat or exercise by the size or shape of my body? Even if you want to call me a liar, I bet dollars to Baby Flavored Donuts that you really have NO CLUE how I eat, sleep, exercise, LIVE in my Fat Life.

Fat exists.  On people even; on their (our) bodies.  On the bodies of people you know and love.  Looks are deceptive.  And no-where is it written that you get the right to judge others as somehow less of a person because they have more of a particular type of tissue on their body. So the next time you find yourself starting to snark at someone entering a Fast Food restaurant or struggling to find work-out clothes in their size on the rack in a mall (good luck on that one btw); consider that you really DON’T know this person and think if you would feel the same if maybe you DID know them.  Would you still judge?  Still shame?  Still feel justified in exposing disgust?  How long do you think it might be before YOU are thought of as fat?  Who around you might ALREADY be judging YOU as fat and undeserving of basic human respect?  The judgement knife cuts both ways my dears.

Are you fat or do you just look fat?  It all comes down to: either way it is no one else’s business.  So mind your own and live your own life, whatever size or shape it takes. Okay?

*Well unless you’re one of THOSE sorts of friends or family members… the kind who politely disagrees when anyone says something so self-disparaging and then blithely suggests you BOTH join WW for the “moral support”…yeah THAT kind of friend.