On being daring with photographs

I’m a sucker for contests.  I love to enter, I love to see other entries.  In particular I’m drawn (hah!) into contests on the Deviant Art site.  The reason I’m posting about this most recent contest is because what was required was full body shots of pin-up poses.  I have never modeled and my hubby, while a great photographer, is by no means a pro.  So I am very much a newbie. But honestly, after reading about the contest calling for ANY level of skill to go ahead and try to create stock images for people to use as reference for drawing up their own artwork based on the poses; I was intrigued.  What really pushed me into actually going for it was that the host of the contest was actively encouraging any and all body types to go ahead and please join.  Then I read the comments where potential entrant after potential entrant begged off because they did not feel they could submit themselves to being photographed.  Finally something inside of me clicked and I thought, “Well screw that!”

So in the hopes of encouraging others to do the same I took a deep breath, found some tight clothing and posed it up for Adam D’s camera.  And, most “daring” of all; I’ve selected 5 of the pictures to submit to my DA account and the contest.

So a fat woman is posing in pin-up style.  Online for all to see.  It is both frightening (online is forever!) and exhilarating (I’m doing something fun and perhaps giving some good pose reference material for folks looking to draw a person with my sort of body type).  Doing this I realize I’ve come a long way mentally down the path to accepting that “I have a body; I have THIS body; and that is okay no matter what.”

Granted I am still anticipating the traditional “Oh my!  Your non-photo-shopped flesh covering fatty bits has burned my eyes!  The worse thing that has happened in my life, nay my entire existence, is seeing this! You need to diet/exercise/not exist/play to my delicate sensibilities and desires in form and fashion because I am for some reason incapable of realizing that when I see something I don’t like on the Internets I have only to click to make it go away” to which I have to giggle and roll my eyes a bit and think:  “Seriously?  If my pale round flesh is the worst thing you’ve ever seen in your life; you’re not doing too badly in life, right?”  Totally right. Though I’ve made it clear in my stock image use rules that I very much have no interest in those opinions either way.  Not that saying “I don’t care what you think” has ever before stopped people from verbally poo-ing all over people they decide need to hear their hatred. But I remain hopeful

So here’s to being daring; very much so for me; and seeing where it leads.

 

Miss Piggy: Preach on my dear!

I had to giggle at this site which is a sort of Miss Piggy fan site.  Since my mind is still in Halloween mode at the moment I found myself contemplating next year’s costume (I know, touch early!).  One comment over on the SP thread about Halloween gave me the idea of turning myself and my Adam D into Miss Piggy and Kermit.  I’ve always loved the Muppets; in particular Miss Piggys awesome self-confidence and zeal for life.  Adam D is also very much able to speak and sing in Kermit’s voice so I think we’d be a pretty fun costumed couple.

All that back story aside; I was led to the first fan site in my idly curious quest for some images and maybe quotes.  What I found was a fun little site which speaks as Miss Piggy.  She addresses her fans, answers their questions and offers a bit of advice on life, fashion and nutrition.  Her tips are funny but also very much wise beyond her time.

For example, from the “How Miss Piggy Stays Fit” column:

Moi does not recommend dieting. The only way you can lose weight is the same way you lose anything – by forgetting where you put it.

Eat what you want, exercise your prerogative, and find a good plastic surgeon who gives frequent-flyer miles.

While I’m not on-board with physical alterations via surgery I do find it oddly refreshing to hear in plain language “Eat what you want” and “Don’t diet”.  Even if it is coming from a puppet pig.  Also, how interesting is her scale on the page?  The possible “weights” shown are: Ideal, Slim, Perfect, Tiny, Dainty.  How about having a slighty similar scale for every person; which only listed things such as: Wonderful, Amazing, Perfect, Ideal, Great, etc.  Bet it would make that morning weigh-in much less of a head-game for those who still insist on daily or even weekly self weighing.

I also had to share a few quotable quotes from the pink diva that might just make you grin or might even give you a bit of food for thought for the day:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may become necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. (Not that I’m advocating violence btw.)

Never use anything that makes you cry, sneeze, look old, or turn red and bumpy.

What is the use of being a fashion plate if all you are going to put on it is peas?

Just because you are down in the mouth, that is no reason not to eat.

This, you see, is my ultimate ambition – to live a simple life with the frog I love.

I don’t happen to be much of a fashion Diva myself and at any rate I’m happily pursuing a career so much of Miss Piggy’s advice to “Stick the man with the bills and only accept diamonds as gifts” doesn’t fit for me.  However, I can still admire her zest in life and her no-nonsense way of going through life the way SHE wants to; with goals clearly in mind that no-one will dissuade her from.  That, to me, is a great bit of character right there.  So preach on my dear Miss Piggy.  And maybe this time next year I wll be celebrating my own brief stint imitating your amazing style!

 

Fun shirt re-prints and post-Halloween

For all of us who have ever foolishly slaved to be what we could never be

For anyone who has been waiting around forever to get the adorable t-shirt of the rhino running on a treadmill aspiring to become a unicorn; it has been reprinted.  Personally I find that from threadless the guy’s 2xl matches a good “unisex” or “women’s” 2xl.

This weekend I went to an awesome low-key but amazing Halloween party.  Got to hand out candy dressed up as one of the Rainbow Brite color kids.  Almost no one recognized us (so sad!) but we got to see lots of fun (and some silly) costumes.  For someone who has never gotten to hand out candy in a busy neighborhood it was completely wonderful simple fun.  It was eye-opening to see just how many kids don’t even care about the “Trick or Treat” or “Happy Halloween” tropes and are just there to grudgingly allow you to look upon their visual greatness as they grab at a handful of candy. It was a bit expected but there were QUITE a few vampires running around this year; especially young women and girls with the fangs and some skimpy back outfit.  Adam D and I were also hard-pressed after 2 hours of passing out treats to over 300 kids to come up with more than a handful of girls or young women who WEREN’T dressed as either a “sexy” version of something or a vampire.  Though I give kudos to the one young woman who dressed as strawberry shortcake in a non-uber-sexified way.  She gets major props from us!   (Though I think wearing shoes over those awesome stockings might have been in order even though it was warm that night!)

At any rate what a fun evening followed by a great party.  It was good to see kids of all shapes and sizes running around in costume that night.  I can’t speak for what might have been said or done behind the scenes but everyone LOOKED to be having fun and enjoying a night out.  A nice refreshing scene honestly!

Happy first clock-turned-back Monday all.

 

Quick! What makes you think “Yoga”? Did you say “Yoda”?

Then you’d probably be right as far as folks over at Yoga Today* are concerned.  For just over 60 minutes you can:

Explore the unifying “force,” or energy that connects all living beings. Yoga can help you recognize and develop your force within, and then it’s up to you how you choose to use it. This class features Princess Neesha Zollinger exploring the Galactic connection between Yoga and Star Wars!

Hey.  Whatever gets you interested in Yoga, right?  Anyone tried it out?  Do you feel more connected to the force?  Did you at least get to pose in one classic Jedi Fight pose?  I’m not sure if this sort of endeavor would excite even this here die-hard Mark Hamill fan** into trying Yoga; but to each their own, right?  Perhaps this video even includes a bit of Yoda-esque philosophy about the moves if one is lucky? “Size matters NOT!”  One could only hope.

From the little “preview” snippet: “There is one force, you can choose to use it for the light side; or the dark side.”

*Found via BoingBoing.net

**Okay so I’m not a member of the club but MAN he is fun to watch jump around in that black suit in Return of the Jedi!

 

Belly Photos

Well I know a while back Sylvia and Bianca over at Two Zaftig Chicks were sharing images of their bellies.  I was pretty inspired by their commitment to take a full month to look at their own bellies, for better or worse, every single day. While I don’t have a similar commitment to daily tummy photos I do have some to share from this weekend’s bellydance recital.  It was a lot of fun.  Crazy amounts of shimmy-ing and just all around good times had by all. Lots of different sizes and shapes were dancing this weekend and it was so encouraging to see all those bellies; though since I don’t have their approval I will only be showing mine here!

So without further ado, some images to get your afternoon going (for better or worse!)  Enjoy or not; it is my happy belly here to be shared via imagery

Got to find just the right balancing point

Tribal Outfit!!

Ta-DAH!

 

Pretty Power: Activate!

Sociological Images has an interesting recent post about deconstructing just what assets Disney princesses (or heroines) are allowed to have.  It mostly boils down to women needing to use their Pretty Power TM in order to save the day (or more often BE saved).  While some of the generalizations are very broad and the comments do bring some interesting discussions up especially regarding my favorite lady (Belle) it was a good overall conversation starter and thought-poker.

I’ll admit right here that I love watching Disney movies and love looking at the shiny colors of the princess product line.  However, the concepts that the portrayal of these women brings up are worth discussing so I am enjoying that thread.

What is it about the idea that you must be “pretty”?  In the movies discussed at Sociological Images the women are all very pale (if not all glaringly white), conventionally thin, symmetrical of face and smoothly complected.  Browse a “how to draw Disney princesses” search results list and you’ll find that aside from a few variations on eyes and lips; these faces are all the SAME FACE.

In essence, the women are interchangeable.  Add a few background details here (love of animals, something which brings the viewer a distinct knowledge of her “pure” motherly heart); add a few hobbies there (collects “human” items, reads (hu-yuck, she might be Book Smart y’all!)) and with just a change of wardrobe and makeup you have a Whole New Princess! I’m not sure where to go with the idea that these women (who are sometimes marketed as being Strong Role Models for their intelligence (books!) or rebellious nature (escapes Richness for a Day In The Poor Life!) or what have you) are really so very much the same.  I feel Mulan breaks the mold a bit but perhaps that is just me enjoying the movie more.  Is she just as much the same?  Dresses as a man (because only Men Have Power other than that of looks) to fight for a cause, but ends up winning people over at the end thanks to…her personality? I don’t know.  Maybe I’m not up to in-depth analysis this afternoon!

At any rate; do you have hopes for the upcoming Disney film with Tiana?  While the beautiful, thin, partially “rebellious” but good-at-heart leading princess-y ladies may not be leaving the Disney line anytime soon do you think that you’ll still be watching?  Are you ready for some NON-Princess action for women?  A bit like Mulan only not afraid to be feminine AND rough and tough.  Like a teen Dora before she was turned into a Pink Product Placement girl; going on adventures and living life without apology?  Well perhaps I’m a fool for hoping for such things but I still hold out that glimmer of hope.  (It is the same glimmer wherein I keep my desire to one day own a pony…)

 

In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty

If you read either of the feeds I have up (Fat Chat or Fat-o-sphere) then you’ve already read plenty about privilege, douchebags and who has the right to speak (and how) ABOUT that privilege or possible douchebagginess for the past few days. If you’re anything like me then you’re really ready for something, anything, other than more re-hash of what (to me at least) seemed to be an exploded result of a Fat Sphere “Slow News Day” knee-jerk reaction-fest.*

So to discuss other things I wanted to direct your attention to a beautiful (and a bit sad) social experiment that A Day in the (Fat) Life pointed out.

Joshua Bell, one of the greatest violin musicians in the world, played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars [in a metro station]. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in  Boston where the seats averaged $100.

[His] playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:  If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made … How many other things are we missing?

What else ARE we (I?) missing out on because of a funnel-vision-esque focus on tiny aspects of our own lives?

While beauty (even of particular types of music) is in the eye (or ear!) of the beholder and thus some people may not have honestly found Joshua’s music of interest; I do not doubt that there are people who may have stayed to watch this musician in the metro if they hadn’t spent a lifetime being told not to waste time, not to move on quickly, not to ignore the “extraneous” life fluff around them as they (we) bustle on to the next task, the next duty, the next bit of life.

Now I’ve been in the DC metro and, like the France metro and the NY metro and the Boston metro, they are generally not places I’ve ever felt an urge to linger for more than the few moments it takes to quickly check the “You are here” maps while trying to seem confident I know where I am so as not to be marked as some sort of  “easy target” for theft or who knows what else.  Not to mention that after certain hours that funky urine and desperation tinted odor of commuter travel does not make for a place one chooses to take up a patch of floor space in order to enjoy a bit of classical violin.  However, all of my own (perhaps social induced but personally believed and reacted to) metro-related convictions aside; I still find myself a bit melancholy at the potential implications of this tiny experiment.  Partly because of the note made of how many children TRIED to stop to listen yet were pulled away by busy adults (think of the children!!)  But also partly because I now wonder how often I’VE been guilty of moving through life just as quickly, disregarding what might be an amazing experience or beautiful moment in my rush to get to The Next Thing.

To bring it around to the self-acceptance travels I and others are on, I find myself really taking a moment to ask myself:  In my journey to “Find Self-Acceptance” how many truly beautiful moments have I let pass by because I was waiting for the true “zen” of full self-acceptance to come along? Similar to waiting to be the perfect size before attempting to do something I’ve convinced myself I could not POSSIBLY do at the Right Now Me-Size; have I been allowing amazing self-acceptance experiences because I don’t feel I’m self-accepting enough? That I’m not quite a Queen of Self-love and respect-to-all? Am I STILL trying to find ways to fit that same guilty dieter mentality into my life but now in the form of self-denial related to how far along I am in learning to love my body and respect the rights of others to the bodies they have??

So I’m taking that moment now to put on the brakes and look around my life and the paths that I’m on.  A lot of things are good in my life right now.  Some are not.  On my voyage to self-acceptance some days are good.  Some are really not.  Some days I feel like a true activist; ready to take on tough topics and tougher opinions.  Some weeks I just want to Ostrich through the politics and the ridicule and shame.

Today I’m ambivalent about my body.  In the spirit of Fat Talk Free week I will not shame that body but that little demon is there in the back of my mind.  Smaller in stature from over a year of deny it a right to force my actions; but it is still there waiting for those moments of mental insecurity to come forward again and remind me of the “possibilities” awaiting a smaller, less self-loving, more abjectly miserable April D.  But these days, like the wonderful days, I have found to be a part of the process.  I don’t think they ever go away entirely.

Perhaps one day there will be a generation of people who never ever HAVE that little mental demon; who are exposed to countless media images of diverse bodies in various equal roles and never can imagine hating themselves for the shape, size, color, or feelings they have. Who don’t have to spend a week away from any TV or news exposure in order to retain enough sanity to make it through the daily grind.  An ideal world?  Who knows.  Perhaps not.

One recent thing I AM very glad that I took the time to appreciate was meeting a classmate last night from an online class.  She took a step out of normal actions and wrote to ask if she could swing by the library where I act as a ninja reference librarian once a week. I took the hesitant (what if she doesn’t like me?  What if she’s some sort of crazy stalker?? What if she…makes fun of me??) but hopeful step to accept.

We met and were able to chat for a few moments last night.  And while it is certainly far too soon to tell how things will go in the future;  I know I have been able to connect with another human being in a simple but friendly way.  Both of us taking that little moment to do something unexpected that turned out to have a fun few chatty moments of interesting conversation (If you’re reading: Hi!!).

It is a moment I am glad I did not let pass by.  Not all moments will work out so well…and some are perhaps better left not experienced if they don’t fit within your comfort zone (or just beyond it). (What if it had been a guy?  Or someone asking to meet at my house? Or someone I just met on the metro??)

The point I’m taking away from last night and the reflections on the metro music experiment is that keeping my eyes open to such opportunities does not cost me anything.  There is no inappropriate hour to appreciate a good chat, or a moment of self-love.  I would do well to remember this in the future.

*Which did, nonetheless, bring up some interesting topics for future discussion: namely at what point does “discussing” privilege become “flaunting” it and when does it all of a sudden become okay to shun those honestly (or not?) asking for “help” in where to go “from here” once acknowledging said privileges just because their tone wasn’t quite humble enough?

 

Bless her (dieting) heart

Fitting into a dress should not require decided between having the money to add less than an inch of fabric and not eating for two weeks

I was at a wedding yesterday.  Very cute wedding.  Wonderful cousin getting married.  Beautiful service.  Amazing outfits.  Humorous minister presiding. I noticed throughout the post-ceremony chattering though that my cousin kept adjusting and shifting in her gorgeous dress.  Come to find out it was a tiny bit tight.  She had bought it over a year ago when she was having much digestion trouble and had lost buckets of illness-related weight.  Since then she has improved and has become an avid runner.  She runs 5 days a week.  Yet even that was not enough to keep the dress perfectly fit I guess.  Unless she was willing to pay more to have the dress let out about 1/4 or 1/2 an inch she would just have to Fit Herself into the gown.  So for the last 2 weeks?  My cousin has not really eaten.  (Or consequently really slept).  And still the dress looked like it felt pretty uncomfortable.  My religious Aunt, on discussing these events and relaying the information that my ordained minister of a cousin had pretty much just Not Eaten for over 14 days said “Bless her heart”.  And I could only just hold back how really freaking sad that makes me. That you would bless anyone for choosing to NOT EAT just to fit into a piece of cloth.  Makes me so frustrated and sad.   Here’s her Headless Thin-y picture on the right.  And I know part of what my Aunt was “blessing” was not so much my cousin’s Noble Choice to Starve, but the fact that she chose that over trying to come up with the money it would have required to add one simple 1/2 inch of fabric to the back of the dress (granted, being a sewing aficionado myself I know it isn’t actually “Easy Peasy” but still, simpler than the exorbitant cost would warrant).

Tights: We Love Colors. Shoes: Target. Dress: Etsy.

When I told the hubby about all of this he just shook his head and said, “Guys have it so much easier!”  Yeah.  Tell me about it!

On the less sad  and actually much more fun note I wore a fantastic ensemble of bright colors, comfy fabrics and a new pair of red plaid shoes (yes, the only “fun” shoes I’ve ever bought in my life).

Yes, I DID wear bright orange tights and red plaid and brown all together and it felt awesome, fun and finally comfortable at a wedding in a way I’ve not really been for as long as I can think of.  I’ve always thought of weddings as yet another opportunity to be told how great I could look IF I would only lose some weight.  Well you know what?  I look pretty smashing just as is, thanks very much.  And no amount of heart “blessing” will get me to alter my size just so I fit into clothing.  Ever again.

What a crazy world that women find themselves caught trying to choose between fitting clothing to their bodies or fitting their bodies to the clothing in order to afford the clothing they desire.

 

Belly dance for change?

Not as in nickles and dimes but for a cause.  Namely, the cause of encouraging writing (among others).  I saw this article over at NaNoWriMo’s website today and needed to share.

We also have been raising money for charitable causes for almost a year as part of a unique program we founded called Belly Dance for Change. We have even danced in subway stations to promote LGBT, women’s anti-violence, anti-poverty, and childhood education causes. We’ve been nearly arrested in several occasions, although we don’t do anything against the rules. But only in New York will more people watch us dance when cops are standing by.

Just like writing a novel, a belly dance routine must choose a tone and a narrative. Unlike a book, we are taught to interact with the viewer, to improvise on the fly and to always offer a happy ending. Love, heartbreak, mischievousness, and longing can all be expressed through belly dance.

Pretty interesting I think.  Maybe I can work with my dance instructor to discover some ways to dance for causes.  We already dance for nursing homes and rehab centers for free or very little renumeration but it might be worth looking into to see about some sort of shimmy fundraiser to put funds towards say, actual research to be done regarding health which does not use BMI as the end-all/be-all measure of human worth?  Just a thought.

What sort of causes would you shake your hips for?

 

Hairs cuttery and fashion

Well I’m getting my hairs cut today.  (Always get the tease, never fails, when I say “Hair”: “Hu-yuck, which ONE?” *snarf**eyeroll*)  So I’m getting them ALL cut and am having a bit of trouble deciding if I want to change style or not.  I hate the bangs growing into my eyes now but love when they are short little things.  So we’ll see on that front. Any suggestions?

I have a wedding to go to this coming Sunday and for one of the first times I am excited to get dressed up and not frantically worrying that my tummy might show too much or my “Fat legs” might offend someone.  I consider that a huge step in the right mental direction towards self bodily love.  I contribute some of the excitement about getting dressed up to the awesome orange tights from We Love Colors that I plan to wear with the awesome new brown dress! Very cool stuff.

That’s about it for “fashion” on my not-so-fashion-saavy end of the blog-spectrum here.