Everyone knows how it feels to have a Fat Day. Okay, I’m generalizing. It is possible there are some out there who will read this and scratch their heads in be-puzzled confusion, having never in their life heard or used the phrase “I feel Fat today”. But I’m betting those numbers would be very small.
What is a Fat Day? It is that day when nothing seems to go right, when everything you try on makes you feel exposed or socially unacceptable. Those days when you feel like everyone is looking, their eyes are on you and none of those un-voiced thoughts in their minds are complimentary towards your appearance; you can FEEL their judgements. Fat days for some of us could be just those days when we want to not be seen, when we want to hide away and feel sad or mad or grouchy or simply burrow into a pile of blankets so no one can comment on our bodies. Fat Days are just BAD days. Self-image is shot, compliments act like water trying to penetrate a Rain-X coated windshield, and the self-pity party is in full swing. “I’m having a Fat Day” is a phrase all rolled up with connotations of negativity; it is the quintessential Bad Day. A bad hair day is nothing in the face of a Fat Day.
It isn’t surprising to me that all the fat-hatred and self-loathing rhetoric bombarding us on all sides of the day-to-day gauntlet of self-righteous body-shaming attacks that is part of the normal every-day existence might once in a while take its toll and get through our shells to make use feel awful. After all, even the strongest of self-love advocates must still have a bad day from time to time when the pressures of exposing love in a hatred filled world becomes overwhelming. What I find intriguing is the linguistic implication of labelling your BAD days as Fat Days. I’ve never heard someone who was having a GOOD day “Oh this is great; I’m having a Thin Day!” The implication is that “fat” is a synonym for “bad”. But oddly “thin” isn’t quite as literally used as the synonym for “good”; instead people tend to say “I’m having a good/great day”. Perhaps this means that even if it is only subconsciously; people aren’t ready to attribute feeling good to just feeling Smaller. Fat is blamed for a Bad Day but Thin is not applauded for a Good Day. (I just find that an interesting thing to note.)
So what does a Thin Day feel like? Is it a day when everything seems to go your way? All the way to work you catch all the green lights? Your clothes feel like they are comfortable and not restrictive? Is it a day when you WANT people to notice you so you can share a smile of happy contentment? Instead of being or feeling like an utter slovenly failure of human existence, an ungainly 5th wheel of a social pariah, do you instead feel like the life of the party, full of social graces? Is this just an imagined sort of day that would only happen if you actually GOT thin? Is that why the phrase hasn’t worked its way into our normal everyday verbiage? Because the truly “fun” part of the Fantasy of Being Thin is that you never REALLY will be Thin if everyone can always stand to benefit from a 10% loss of weight.
Not sure where I’d like to go with these musings. Has anyone HAD a day when they said “I feel Thin today”? Even when I was down to 175 pounds; there was always that nagging “Just a few more and you’ll be “Thin, Acceptable, etc” voice in my own mind so I’m not sure that even my BEST day was mentally linked with Thin. As though any shabby day can be bad enough to be Fat but no day will EVER be good enough to be labelled as Thin. Perhaps that is why we never say “I feel Thin” because Thin is so wrapped up in magical feelings of SO GOOD that nothing could get that good; short of learning to fart unicorns and burp rainbow scented flowers life will just never give you a day so good as to be deemed Thin.
Right now I feel happy and good. I’m wearing clothing that fits, without the mental crisis of battling the pant size and trying to squeeze into something far too tight so I’m comfortable in my clothes and in my own skin. My allergies are easing a bit today so I can breathe through both nostrils (an ability we sorely underestimate until it is taken away!). I made it to work early and tonight I get to go swimming. The sun is bright and Autumn (up here in the North) is in full swing. Perhaps I’m already HAVING a Thin Day. I’d prefer to call it a Great Day though, since it isn’t a day of slender possibilities and self-loathing induced body size adjustments*, it is a day filled with possibilities, fat with opportunities to smile and improve someone else’s day. Maybe this is a Fat Day, redefined.
Maybe the allergy meds are just affecting my thinking. Any other thoughts?
*which is how I would have to go about becoming Thin; this isn’t a knock against folks who just happen to already BE Thin.
September 23, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I have literal ‘Thin Days’ because my sport requires that I have to weigh in. So, I’m in the light weight category because of my body type, but am usualy 2-3 lbs over by the time weigh-ins come around, so I literally have ‘Thin Days’ when I have to drop a couple lbs. Other than that, I don’t really say I’m having a ‘Fat Day.’ It’s usually just ‘I’m bloated.’
September 23, 2008 at 12:59 pm
I don’t think I ever had Thin Days, but I certainly have had Fit Days, where I was happy just from sheer enjoyment of my body in motion.
(I want these back!)
September 23, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Every now and then, i have days where my waist feels thinner than it actually is. I’m not sure how to describe it, and i’m fairly sure i’ve never called it a Thin Day. I rarely call anything a Fat Day either. I tend to go for the more size-neutral “Bad Body Day”. Those are, as you said, the days when nothing fits right, everything looks bad on me, etc.
I also have Weird Body Days, when there’s just something about the way i act, look, or carry myself that makes people stare at me like i’ve grown another head. They do double-takes, even. I’ve never known what to make of that.
September 23, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Bald Soprano I like the sound of Fit Days. I usually get that feeling after swimming or dancing and hope I get it again today. That would be nice.
Lindsay I’ve had “Weird Body Days” and I always wonder if I am going cross-eyed or something from all the strange looks. Maybe people are just wondering how to tell me I have spinach in my teeth or something *shrug*
September 23, 2008 at 1:45 pm
I would not have had “Thin Days” pre-FA, but if I could have, that’s what I would have called them, then. I called my feel-bad days “fat days”.
And Lindsay, I call them “bad body days” now too. And the opposite do happen — Good body days are ones where my clothes fit, I feel comfortable and confident, either particularly strong or graceful or dexterous.
April D, I have ‘weird body days’ too. Where I just don’t seem to function properly, or I just plain feel strange.
Oddly, I felt thin and toned when I was 8 months pregnant; probably because my belly was tight, LOL. I wasn’t a thin woman at the time; I felt powerful though, and not self-conscious, which made all the difference.
September 23, 2008 at 4:04 pm
You know, I can’t think of a single time I’ve ever uttered the words ‘I’m having a fat day.’
I completely know what the concept is, but it’s never been connected in my mind with me, no matter how fat I got. I don’t even think of it in terms of ‘bad body day.’
In my brain it’s more ’self-conscious days’ and ‘uninhibited days.’
I think I always looked at it in terms of my mental rather than my physical state, so I never blamed a day when I felt bad on being fat, anymore than I would have thought to say my day was good because I’d magically dropped five pounds when I wasn’t looking.
I guess it never seemed that my body changed that drastically on a day-to-day basis, so I figured it must have more to do with my mood and mental attitude.
September 23, 2008 at 4:15 pm
In my brain it’s more ’self-conscious days’ and ‘uninhibited days.’
Wow! That says a lot right there. I think this boils down to what I experiance as well, although on those self-conscious days (today is one of them), I feel fat. On my uninhibited days I’m still fat, but I don’t feel it.
September 23, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Twistie that sounds a bit more logical than feeling “Fat” as I used to think of it. Perhaps it was linked for me to the age-old scale-weighing morning rituals where 1 pound on or off could make or break a day’s mood…
September 23, 2008 at 7:31 pm
I have a friend who often refers to “thin days” – days when her clothes seem to fit better/looser and she feels lighter and fitter. I’ve never really used either term – there are just days when I feel on top of the world and days when I have to just stop thinking so much and go to a movie
September 24, 2008 at 3:44 am
I usually think “I feel fat(ter) today” on days when my clothes are too tight. Actually, it often turns out that I’m just bloated or something, so my waist really is taking up a little more room than usual, and my pants don’t take kindly to that.
And I’ve often had the thought “I feel thin today” while wearing clothes that fit and are comfortable. Had that today, in fact. My hangup, I guess, is learning that when my clothes feel too tight, it’s the clothes that need to change, not my body. Avoiding jeans on “fat days” helps a lot with that.
September 24, 2008 at 4:16 am
I think you are underestimating the HORROR of a REALLY BAD HAIR DAY! I remember in High school, my skin and hair were so greasy that, well, it was awful, and on one particular day I had hair so greasy it looked like it was painted on my head (my hair is THIN too) and a pimple ON THE END of my NOSE. All I wanted to do was GO HOME!!
Ultimate Bad Hair Day.
September 24, 2008 at 6:37 am
well i’m thinking about chocolate right now .. but I know that if I do it I will feel guilty!!!
And I wish work would have pe lessons or something. I usually have fat days pre period where i stuff myself and end up working it off in the gym for half a month and then the cycle repeats itself..
Its more important to feel good me thinks.. x
September 24, 2008 at 7:12 am
KMT that really sounds like an Ultimate Bad Hair day indeed!
September 24, 2008 at 9:14 am
I have days where I “feel fat,” but, like others, don’t refer to them as “fat days.” I never even THOUGHT about having a “thin day” – there are days when I think I’m looking good, and feeling good about myself. I guess if I had to pick a label for those days, they would be “looking good” days.
Also, I never particularly noticed that the “f” and “g” are right next to each other on the keyboard, until I just typed “looking food days”
September 24, 2008 at 1:26 pm
It’s an interesting question, and I like reading the responses. To me, my own response was surprising – when I asked myself what a “Thin Day” was, the answer quickly returned “hungry”. In high school and college, I would often try to go without food, or with extreme food limitation, as part of my desperate struggle with my body image. The days when I hadn’t eaten, or when I hadn’t eaten much at all – those were “Thin Days.” For me, the opposition to “Fat Days” does call on a cultural stereotype, but a slightly different one than many folks seem to be talking about – for me, feeling fat was feeling uncontrolled, in addition to feeling physically big. So feeling thin would be extreme control over eating. I just thought that was a really interesting response. Probably shows that I still have a way to go in recovery, too.
January 13, 2009 at 12:07 pm
A thin day? For me, that’s interchangeable with a good mirror day, where what I see reflected at me is positive. Less mental distortion as to what I seem to be. So I don’t change, but my perception of myself certainly does.
January 13, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Diana, perhaps that’s the whole idea behind that “thin” day feeling. It is just our own perception that changes but so conflated is feeling good with being thin that the two seem to have become so intertwined in my brain that “thin days” became any day when I felt good….that is changing now but slowly. It is hard to undo a lifetime of conditioning to associate good and thin at all costs!