“Besides, I can’t go out to eat for lunch today; look at this Muffin Top!”
Ah yes. Muffin top, oh muffin top, do you know the muffin top? So tasty and loved in pastry form, so delightedly reviled and mocked in human flesh. The moment that a famous actress or woman in the public eye bends over or decides to wear an outfit too snug and a tiny bit of flesh puckers at all around her waistband, photographers are there to snap that brief glimpse of humanity, that tiny little “flaw”, that raging muffin top threatening all of civilization as we know it! Obesity articles and news briefs seem to get some sort of little orgasmic thrill when they happen upon the perfect picture of muffin-topped goodness, some unsuspecting woman with a roll of body that happens to fall outside the dictated norms of acceptance as well as the confines of her waistband.
What is this slang slander “Muffin Top” you ask? It is when you refer to a woman’s stomach which is pinched and hanging out/extending beyond the waist of her pants in a visible way. Top number one reason FOR said “Muffin Top”? Your pants are too tight.* Instead of bemoaning how eating a few bites of food you like might make you even MORE uncomfortable than you already are; here’s a revolutionary new idea. It won’t even take more time than a trip to your usual clothing store. It won’t cost as much as trying in vain to diet your way back INTO (or DOWN to if you are wearing silly “inspiration” pants) that painful, belly-pressing pair of pants. You ready to find out my sure-fire secret?
Buy a pair of pants that fit.
Ta dah! I know. Shockingly revolutionary. With my amazing free advice, you too can avoid the painful compression and resultant “shocking” visual “blight” that is the “Muffin Top”. And by “Fit” I do NOT mean “the pair that I could manage to barely snap together”. No. Bad! Be KIND to your body! Get over that internal crisis that you’re waging with yourself over that arbitrary pant size label. Get the next size, or the next, whatever it takes. Feel the freedom and pleasure of getting OUT of tiny pants and into ones that allow you to move and breathe with comfort.
That said though, if you are a person who LIKES to wear waist-cinching, belly-poppingly tight pants and enjoy the resultant muffin-y top (hey, some of us like to wear corsets now and again too despite the discomfort and perhaps because of the breast emphasizing feature); then that is your right too. Or perhaps your body is just shaped so that regardless of the fact that you’re wearing pants that aren’t snug enough to cut off circulation to your spleen, you will still have this muffin above your pants; this soft roll of beautiful flesh that adorns that space above your waistband. You know what, embrace it and smile because you know you’re wearing what you WANT (not what someone else (even me) has TOLD you that you should want to wear); and you have the right and privilege to do so without outsiders commenting in any way. So I’m going to also give a free tip to those who are so mortally morally offended at the sight of these “rampant” muffin tops. Ready for it?
Stop looking at it.
That’s right. Two simple pieces of advice. If you don’t like HAVING “Muffin Top” that is caused by constricting pants; buy pants that fit. If you don’t like SEEING “Muffin Tops”, regardless of whether they are the result of tight pants or naturally shaped body forms; then don’t look. If it isn’t your body, you get no inherent right to critique it or comment upon it. There. Free and easy.
I return you now to your regularly scheduled morning. Anyone want to go out for some muffins? I have this inexplicable yearning for a corn muffin right now.
My Own Muffin-y Goodness
*I see wearing tight pants as the top cause of muffin top so mostly here in this post I am referring to the silly and painful practice of wearing constricting clothing that harms your body in an effort to stay or get into that “Smaller Size”. I am by no means belittling those of us (such as myself or my mother even when she was a size 6) who happen to just HAVE that tummy pooch, regardless of clothing size/style or even those folks who just like the feel and look of their own tight-clothing produced muffin tops.
October 22, 2008 at 10:42 am
Or if you’re like me and don’t want to or can’t buy a pair of new pants just slap on the ole latex girdle, that thing is awesome for your back!
October 22, 2008 at 11:04 am
Perhaps but I think girdles just exacerbate the problem of wearing tight pants and squeezing yourself uncomfortably into things that don’t fit. But like I said, some of us wear corsets too on occasion so….to each their own.
October 22, 2008 at 11:23 am
Tyra Banks does this thing on her talk show where she slaps her belly and talks about how she’s a grown woman and like a lot of grown woman she’s got OMG FAT!!! and it’s nothing to be ashamed of, and she has a muffin top, and it’s totally normal, and then she unbuttons the top button of her pants and sits back breathing deeply.
And every time I see her do that I want to slap her and ask why she doesn’t just buy some pants that fucking fit already.
October 22, 2008 at 11:29 am
You know, I don’t post here nearly often enough, but I have to tell you how much I enjoy reading your posts. I love you deeply in that internets melding-of-the-minds way. :3
This was sheer brilliance. And it’s so refreshing to see a body much like my own proudly on display! That outfit? SO CUTE.
October 22, 2008 at 11:34 am
THANK YOU!!!
The one thing I’m sick and tired of seeing/reading/hearing is that wearing too-small pants is the ONLY cause of muffin top. And while yes, that IS a valid reason, it’s NOT the ONLY reason.
I’m one of those people that, if I wore pants that didn’t give me muffin top? They’d be down around my ankles in no time at all. And I get those “you really should buy a pair that fit” comments all the time.
Yes, we should all be wearing clothes that fit our bodies. Ideally, I mean. But my god, isn’t there more important things to worry about than whether someone’s fat happens to hang over their waistband a little bit?
October 22, 2008 at 12:05 pm
I have muffin top regardless of whether my pants are a little snug or if I constantly have to pull them up. I’m relatively slender…except for my waist, which is puffy regardless of what size I wear (I wore a size 4 and had a muffin top, now I’m an 8 with a muffin top). It’s genetic. Every woman on my mom’s side has a abdominal fat. If I could push some of the puff down a little to give me an ass, I would be so happy.
October 22, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I’d like to join SugarLeigh in saying “This was sheer brilliance. And it’s so refreshing to see a body much like my own proudly on display! That outfit? SO CUTE.”
I’m still getting used to my new body shape (changed over the last year), and it’s nice to see people being confident with something like the same shape. And I would love to hear how to get/make that outfit. (And I’m sure my husband would love to see me in it…)
Also, I love the quilt on the wall in the background
October 22, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I’ve developed a muffin top for the first time in the last year. And it is because my waist is too big for my pants but if I get a pair of pants that fit my waist they are huge in the butt. It’s like my butt decided to move up to my waist and swing around to the front. I’m working hard on not freaking out, but I’ve been told that muffin tops are the sign of the apocalypse. However, I’ve noticed that when I’m sitting in front of the computer and get really engrossed in reading something terrific (looking pointedly at April) I’ll pat and stroke it. I don’t know what to think about this, am I trying to rub it away or am I trying to cuddle it? Starting today I’m making the conscious decision that when I rub my muffin top I’m giving it love.
October 22, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Wow thanks for the blog-love!
The quilt I can’t give any info on since it was just in the room of the nursing home where I was belly dancing! That outfit was the best I had for a VERY hot (90 degree) day dancing with no AC! The making part is actually simple:
Skirt:
Two 1/2 or 1/4 circles of orange fabric on one elastic band. Two 1/2 or 1/4 circles of black fabric on another elastic band. Scrunch to show or cover as much leg as you wish. (I TOTALLY recommend making a pattern piece for the circles so you have a shape that will fit YOU invididually; I use mine, made out of scrap faux-leather, all the time! I used Shira’s site for the pattern: http://www.shira.net/make-cskirt.htm)
Top:
Take a tankini with a fairly supportive top section (or you can just pick one you like and make sure to wear a supportive bra). Put the orange fabric on the top of the tankini. Only sew the top edges and where you put trim. Leave the bottom longer than where the elastic for the shelf bra goes. I just cut some of the excess of the long tankini top fabric and then tuck everything under the elastic band, that holds it all in and then I don’t sew everything to the elastic so tight that it won’t go on! The beads are an old simple fake necklace that had broken, just drapped in three rows and stiched into place where I liked them. OH and the shoulder straps was just extra fabric wrapped around the tankini’s spaghetti straps
October 22, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Older than dirt, I say I like the idea of giving a muffin top love
October 22, 2008 at 2:18 pm
I always though the muffin top were the tops of the hips poking up from low rise pants. I actually affectionately refer to my hip area as my muffins. As in “No tickle the MUFFINS!!” But I sort of like muffin tops, and the term. I like having a tasty dessert/breakfast item associated with my hips. Mmm. Muffins.
October 22, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Hey! Just found your blog via alltop.com and I LOVE it!
Glad someone else understands! Thank you for this! I will be sharing it!
October 22, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Exactly. I wore tiny pants way too often when my body was still shaped so differently than now that I probably could have avoided the muffin top if I had realized it. However, by now I just wish there were some kind of magical muffin-free pants for me because my new, permanent muffin top from pregnancy is actually painful. I fear I will have to wear leggings for the rest of my life.
October 22, 2008 at 8:53 pm
LOVE the photo! Great post. The whole Muffin Top Angst thing is very funny to me. Where I live (small VERY SMALL town in Australia) all the teenage girls walk around with “muffin top” (even the ones without much fat on their bodies) and people are inexplicably offended by it. Anyway, their unconcern for how the current fashions creates “muffin top” for their bodies has had a positive influence on me (as 30 year old), because now I don’t mind my own substantial muffin top (which staye there naturally with or without proper fitting pants.) Also, the discovery of FA has helped me feel better about my body too, of course.
p.s. I have been lurking on these blogs for nearly a year now and the is the first time I’ve felt compelled to comment – all due to the “muffin top” issue. Strange!
October 22, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Welcome Victoria! Isn’t it sometimes strange the issues that will spur us to comment?
And Tiana I feel for you with the painful post-pregnancy changes to your body. I can only hope fashion comes along much more quickly these days to take into account comfort, different bodies needs and again COMFORT so that no one has to be in pain in order to dress how they want!
October 27, 2008 at 2:35 pm
On a slightly-related note, a German-speaking friend of mine was searching in vain for this colloquial term, he’d been delighted by it. He wanted my help in recalling it, and when he began gesturing at his waist and mumbling the names of different sweets, I knew “muffin tops” had to be the culprit. But he first ventured forth with “cookie…hats?” Cookie hats!! This is what I call it now.
October 27, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Grumpus I must say that Cookie hats brought a smile to my lips!
January 15, 2009 at 5:16 am
[...] you think your belly is just right, think again. Got a bit of a muffin top, there, haven’t you [...]