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Any day that starts with an LOLCat is a good day in my book. Those grammar-challenged critters can usually make me grin. This particular “kitteh” made me want to reflect upon some of the points that were brought up in a post that Sweet Machine made a while back on Shapely Prose about stairs.  Then perhaps a bit of elaboration upon said points or taking the ideas a bit further in my own direction.

[E]veryone gets tired going up stairs!…The point of this post, then, is to remind us all of the obvious: Human bodies sweat. Human bodies get tired. Human bodies do some things with ease and some things with great effort…Find an activity that your body really likes to do — whether it’s yoga, walking, gardening, or Dance Dance Revolution — and give yourself a break on the other stuff.

Stairs. Climbing them takes the wind out of people.  Not just fat people.  Not just out-of-shape people.  (Bear in mind too that while those two groups may intersect; they are not necessarily one in the same).  Stairs aren’t by any means the most energy efficient means of getting from a lower Point A to a higher Point B and yet they persist as architectural design for climbing to upper levels across the globe. And we humans continue to huff and puff our way to the top of each staircase we have to mount (if we’re able); equal in our inability to run them without at least a bit of extraneous effort.

How much simpler (putting aside astronomical costs of retro-fitting the world) would it be to remove all stairs from the world to replace them with ramps and elevators? Devices and structures of that nature would not only render every area accessible to those not ABLE to huff and puff up the staircases of the world, but would reduce the waste of excess energies our bodies spend on climbing repetitive stairs.

I’m not so much advocating for some sort of Wall-E-esque age when humans float around in self-contained entertainment chairs, oblivious to the world around them.  Instead I’m suggesting that the idea of spending our body’s daily allotment of physical energy on better things; more interesting things; activities that (dare I say it?) may actually be ENJOYABLE or FUN.

Perhaps I’m just really sick and tired of those weight loss tips suggesting that I “Simply” need to add in a few more rounds of staircase jogging during my day to Lose The Flab. Thanks for THAT “I’d never heard it before” tip.  But I’ve tried that.  Been there.  Done it.  Didn’t get a T-shirt.  All I ended up with by adding stairs to my daily physical regime was a greater loathing for them and a sweatier start/end to my day.  My lung capacity didn’t improve at all and I certainly never stopped feeling the “Burn” in my legs when I would force myself up staircase after staircase.  For weeks, months, whatever.

Screw that. I’d rather save my energies to swim another lap or two at the pool or to dance another few minutes in class or to lift a few more boxes at work without getting fatigued.  All of those (even the box lifting) sound vastly more pleasant than hiking up the stairs instead of taking the elevator (location permitting).  Give me an elevator, escalator, ramp or one-level location to roam please.  I’ll spend my energy in the physical activities that I WANT to do; not in that sort of begrudging “Well, this must be great for my lungs/legs/fat body” torture that we call “Taking the Stairs”.  There is no shame in choosing where to spend your energy.