What?? There’s a RIGHT reason to hate your body??!?!

Maybe the gloomy weather has me down, especially frustrating after those brief spring-esque snaps of reprieve from the winter weather doldrums’s so tauntingly infrequent and yet so anticipated are over and things are back to grey.  Maybe I’m just fed up with trying to fathom the way people think of themselves and others.  Either way I found an incredible amount of sad disgust rising inside of me after reading this little “health” article.

determining why you overeat can be the difference between reaching your happy weight and hating your body for all the wrong reasons.

Emphasis is all mine but really, did I need to even highlight what part of this (okay, the whole thing sucks but really I’m pointing to that one part in particular) bothered me?  Putting aside the glaringly obvious assumption that the only reason that a person might have fat on their body is because they overeat (and finding out WHY will magically erase all of said “excess” adipose), what the HECK is the “Right Reason” to hate your body?!?!?  So wait, I do all your tips and reach my “happy weight” but then what….I’m then able to hate my body CORRECTLY?  For all the “right” reasons?  So then…how is getting to my “Happy” weight…going to make me…HAPPY!?!??

You know what?  Here’s my “tip” for today for anyone willing to listen.  You do NOT have permission to HATE your body.  Instead I give you full license to find ways to LOVE the skin you’re in.  Maybe there are parts of your physical make-up that you wish you could wish away or wish different but you know what?  If wishes were fishes we’d walk on the sea.

Focus on your Happy Body and not some magically ever-shifting “Happy Weight” at which it might some day rest if you do Everything Right.  Find that one physical attribute you love the most and expand from there and you know what, pretty soon you just might realize how much you can love every little bit, yes even THOSE bits, of your own body for just what it already is.

Love your hair?  See how well it sets off your neck? Look at how your neck glides into those strong round shoulders.  See the soft flesh of your arms and how it just seems to jiggle at all the right moments.  Caress your stomach and marvel at that buttony knob that once connected you to your invitro life-line.  Look at those wiggly toes and grin.  Love all those little hairs standing on end when a cold breeze enters the room and  you briefly wonder if ghosts are in the room.  Love the curves or flats of your rear and the turn of your ankles.  Find a starting point and just GO and see where it takes you.

Go ahead.  Love your body for ALL reasons.


19 thoughts on “What?? There’s a RIGHT reason to hate your body??!?!

  1. This is a great post. I ❤ your blog.

    I actually really needed this because I’m busting out the strapless dress for the first time in a while, due to an incredible sunburn on my back, and I’m feeling a little wonky.

    Thankyou for making my day 🙂

  2. This is nice–yes, love your body for everything! If you overeat emotionally, and it gains weight to protect you, that’s even more reason to love it. Wow, you ask it for protection and it obliges your request. What could be more perfect?
    Or if you undereat from stress, and yet it persists in existing, that is also beautiful. I am so grateful for my body today.

  3. Beautifully put. Thank you. And, you are so right, there ARE no ‘right’ reasons to hate one’s body & the weight is what we weigh, it is not ‘excess’ & it is not some albatross we carry around as payment for our ‘sin’ of eating ‘too much.’ I get SOOO tired of all the tired old stereotypes & unthinking beliefs held by so many about people who are even a little round, not to mention the assumption that the size & shape of anyone else’s body OR another person’s eating habits are somehow their business in the first place.

  4. Thanks for the encouragement folks. Patsy I love the albatross analogy. Our bodies are NOT for other people to tell us how to be, how to love or hate it or how it should exist in this world.

  5. As much as I can (sort of) appreciate what the article is unintentionally trying to allude to (that it’s a heck of a lot healthier to meditate or get a pet than it is to torture yourself by denying your body what it wants/needs) the context in which it’s placed makes doing all that stuff doing it for the WRONG reasons. “Oh hai, get a puppy, you’ll get skinnier” or “meditate to get skinny, not because it’s generally a good thing to do to take time for yourself”. And then on top of all that I’m STILL supposed to hate my body? No thanks. Sure, I want to get a dog, because I love dogs. I meditate from time to time because I sleep better when I do it. And I try to get at least 7 hours of z’s because I just get cranky without it. Why can’t I just do it because it’s something I want to do for myself? Why can’t I do it because I generally feel better when I do? Why can’t I do it BECAUSE I DON’T hate my body and actually try to listen to what it tells me? Why do I have to do it because I “should” hate my body and because some stupid “health” article says I should so that I way I can only move to a different kind of self-hatred?

    That’s right, I shouldn’t.

    Thank you so much for this post, it evoked the best combination of outrage and self-acceptance 🙂

  6. Thanks *so much!* You don’t know how much I needed to hear these encouraging words today. I love your blog! I hope I can (someday) be more accepting of myself. It’s a hard road, and some days (like today) are worse than others.

  7. This is so cool, it’s just what I neede to cheer me up,after I found out I’ve gained 3 kilos since September, I was so depressed but I mean ,you’re totally right, too bad people are too narrow to see it.

  8. stelagineva, LOL: “…people are too narrow to see it…” but the double entendre is quite apt. I’ve lived the policy of ‘love thyself as is’ right from 80kgs to my current 110kgs, and beginning Monday I’m going to work on lowering that a little bit just in case my health is at risk – while still not really hating the roundness.

    • smsmedia I’m glad you’ll be working on not hating your own body. I hesitated to approve your comment though because I’m not an advocate for weight-loss of any intentional sort for “health” reasons or vanity so just keep that in mind and welcome to Round Shape 🙂

  9. I so needed this today. Thank you, April D. (I am tempted to make a physical license and start handing it out to people who want to play the let’s-hate-our-bodies-together game.)

  10. …what the HECK is the “Right Reason” to hate your body?!?!?

    Good question April D!

    It seems to me this woman reveals the nonsense of her argument.

    She says you have to hate your body, why? Because we are all born not hating it, we have to be taught to hate it.

    If this is sooo healthy, why would you have to degrade your own healthy view of yourself, to an unhealthy view of yourself- thereby, reducing your health- unless what you’re doing is intrinsically unhealthy?

    Health follows from healthy actions, surely.

  11. Bravo! It is an unfortunate thing to grow up in a society that teaches hatred of self. Even people my size (I’m rather on the small end of the spectrum) have been taught to hate our bodies. I grew up being called a shrimp, being told I was too tall, or had too big of feet, or that my nose looked broken.

    I pose this question: Why are we taught to hate our bodies? When all around us there is hatred for each other, and for everything else. How much more hatred can we take?

    I wonder if we learned to love our bodies, regardless of shape, size, or color, if it would be easier for us to show love to others?

  12. OK, not only do I love your blog, April, I LOVE your commentators! Anna, that was a really thought-provoking point about overeating to protect yourself. And lit-girl, wow. My problem is what would we talk about if not “let’s-hate-our-bodies-together?” I would have to develop hobbies, or listen to the news, or read or watch movies. It would be harder to get into a conversation, but I bet the conversation would be more interesting.
    It’s funny, if I had read that line I would not have paid any attention, but I’m so glad you did, April. You’re the bomb-diggety!

  13. “My problem is what would we talk about if not “let’s-hate-our-bodies-together?” I would have to develop hobbies”

    Irrational thinker perhaps you’ve hit the nail on the head. I think body-hate talk has become the new “how’s the weather” type talk for small-chat in order to form bonds…only thing is people (especially us womens) never seem to move PAST this emotionally charged body-hatred “weather” talk into the more meaty stuff of hobbies, etc. Maybe we need to start changing the conversations and make all those “how’s the weather/diet” talks into “How awesome are you feeling today?” and see where that can take us!

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