This past weekend culminated what has been an insane month of school work, studying, exams, jazz music practice and performance, dancing and performing and car breaking down, fixing, breaking down, buying new; etc. The short version: I’ve been very busy and sorta pre-occupied and haven’t written here in at least a week.
That is one reason that I am so happy to have an uplifting story to share as I swing back into a calmer cycle of life this week with a vacation day, some sleep and an urge to write strongly present.
This Saturday part of my day was spent playing trumpet with a jazzy rock band down in CT for a fundraiser. In between songs that I had to play I ended up joining the other folks who were dancing to the rocking tunes. After one of the sets of smiling and dancing and just laughing and having fun; one woman came up to me and asked where I lived. Puzzled I answered that I’m actually up in MA, not in CT. (Only 1.5 hours away but still, not really local). She was bummed and then said, “Oh I was hoping you were closer! I was watching you and you just have so much body confidence out there that I thought you should join up with the bellydance class I’m taking down here! You’d be amazing!” When I confided that I take lessons in NH we spiraled a bit into how awesome dancing was and the night continued.
How amazing did it feel to have someone notice and be inspired/pleased/moved to comment on a fat woman’s sense of presence; her body confidence? Totally amazing. Not least of which because the entire night was filled with wonderful people I’d never met and got to know better who were all MUCH more concerned with having fun, dancing, encouraging the musicians and getting to know each other than with hating on themselves or each other. It was really just a re-affirming night for me. Not only as a marker of just how far I’ve come in my own self-acceptance struggle; but also how amazing human beings CAN be. No one was slamming themselves or others about eating the buffet-style ziti that was offered. There was no condemnation for those not dancing. We were all people. Enjoying a good evening out. Being civil, polite, FRIENDLY even; to people who we might not have even known.
That was a fantastic way to end what has been a very stressful and full month or so for me. So I guess the “lesson” I want to share from that evening is that humans are, by and large, good people. Though the memory of vile slurs or nasty comments from the few folks who are determined to be nasty and hateful for whatever reason do seem to stick in the mind more readily; especially during times of confusion or suffering or uncertainty; those are the minority. It bears remembering that human beings are generally decent and not hateful by nature. I got a taste of that good human nature this weekend and have to say that the reminder was well timed and restorative to my spirit.
So dance the night away. Chat it up with someone you don’t know. Those baby steps you are taking towards your own self-acceptance DO get noticed in positive ways. The hateful voices may fear the consequences of each individual learning to fully love themselves AS THEY ARE but you know what? The rest of the world knows how amazing it would be if we COULD be so confident in ourselves: so don’t let the little negative voices pull you down. In the words of the unknown woman from this weekend: “You’d be amazing!” And indeed, you are.
Random portion of this post:
I have an affection for anything cute. Anything fluffy. Anything large and entirely huggable. Therefore I LOVE the idea of these: Squishables. As the site says “They’re giant round fuzzy stuffed animals. Hug them.” I want the giraffe. 🙂