Being Fat: The New Magical Adventure

I’m a unicorn.  FA (Fat Acceptance) is a leprechaun.   Both I and this movement towards self-acceptance and global basic respect for all people as the human beings they are have something almost magical in common: people think if they don’t BELIEVE in us; that we won’t exist. Some people are so threatened by FA; by the concept of self-acceptance at ANY size. When the Internet trolling reaches the peaks of its regular cycles and comment moderation here becomes more of a vital task to retain my few readers’ Sanity Points I am struck very solidly by just how MUCH people just DO NOT WANT to believe that these things could exist:

  1. A fat  woman with self confidence who exposes happiness and self-acceptance
  2. Healthy human beings who DON’T fit some arbitrary BMI standards measurements
  3. Universal Self Acceptance (or Fat Acceptance)
  4. Basic Human Respect for EVERYONE (not just the “healthy“)

Or, maybe it isn’t so much that folks unwilling to accept those things DON’T believe they could ever occur in this dimension.  Perhaps it is more that the hate spewed towards unknown “undesirables” stems from a paranoid conviction that if you give something enough power of belief then they WILL exist! And, in the case of FA that is just something that can’t be allowed to happen or stars will collide and dimensions will flux!

I imagine it goes something like this: “If I believe in God; then she exists.”  “Wait!  That means…If I believe in Fat Acceptance that will make it EXIST! Oh noes!  We can’t have THAT!  What would the world be coming to if I actually believed that every person I deemed too “fat” was actually not a lying sack of poo and was somehow deserving of basic human respect??? What if I had to be a decent person to others??  Whole societies would crumble!  Life as we know it would END!!  I can’t give people common courtesy!  I must instead show them the error of their ways and deny any chance that they might steal my Belief to somehow empower their cause!  Yes yes! Time to find a blog or something so I can firmly declare just how much I am in opposition to these ideas so they don’t gain ground!  I need to set these lying bitches back in their place and make things right.  ‘Fat Is A Lifestyle Choice and You’re Just in Denial!’  Yeah, yeah that sounds good.  Or, ooo, even better ‘Yeah, Like I Would Believe You Exercise Fatty!’ Good.  Excellent.  They’ll never suspect that there’s this niggling little fear inside of me that this FA crap might one day be the norm and I might lose all of my awesome Shame Giving Privileges…”

So maybe the thought process isn’t quite like that.  But, I like the idea that I’m some sort of magical creature that couldn’t POSSIBLY be what and who I say I am simply by virtue of the power of disbelief.  Maybe you have to be a Virgin (or Pure of Intent/Thought [aka Open Minded]) to “believe” me (or IN me).

A healthy fat woman?  A fat woman who really doesn’t CARE if she sets off someone Else’s arousal meter?  Someone who refuses to change to suit my image of perfection or even mere base-line acceptability? A fat woman who swims, dances, lives, loves, laughs and above all DOESN’T CARE about my desire to shun her for existing in the body that she has and won’t spend her life apologizing for existing?!?? Someone who really, truly and honestly just doesn’t give a damn whether or not I believe that she’s healthy by the definition I have?  How can this be? I can’t BELIEVE such things!!!

As a co-worker of mine aptly put it when another co-worker for whom English is a second or third language asked “Do you believe in Gay?”:  “It doesn’t matter if I “Believe” in it.  It exists.  Deal with it!”

Indeed.  This here fat magical pony of self-acceptance and body confidence spreading determination is here to stay folks; whether you Believe (in) me or not.  So suck it up and Deal With It. And, if you can “See” me, maybe you should make a wish on me for good measure.  You never know, it just might work.  Like Magic.

We do not need magic to change the world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

J. K. ROWLING, speech to Harvard Alumni Association, 2008


21 thoughts on “Being Fat: The New Magical Adventure

      • I’m considering getting it again b/c mine has a minor bleach stain on it. (boo!)

        I think someone on Shapely Prose suggested that we all buy tshirts that say “Do not assume you are healthier than me.”I want that to happen so bad!

  1. I just had a conversation with a dear friend about FA because she’s gained about 50 lbs (130 to 180) over the course of her pregnancy and is having issues with doctors and midwives. She asked me if I have issues with my size or get upset about it. I explained that mostly what I get upset about is the way people react to me and treat me. I am upset that I can’t walk in to any store and have the ability to try things on. I love clothes I love fashion and shopping has become almost painful to me sometimes because I can’t participate fully. Eventually she says to me in a wondering tone, “It sounds to me like you’re more upset about externals, I don’t detect any self-loathing in your voice. That’s really great, I don’t know if I could do that because of all the things that people who are important to me say.”
    I don’t tell her about all the work that’s happened behind the scenes with my family and the therapist I saw as a teen and the fighting. She needs support, not explanations. It’s like she wants to believe but doesn’t know where to start.

    • Sara A: Suggest some things to read, and maybe Shapely Prose/the Ning site (there’s a group there for mothers where she could get support)?

      Also, take every opportunity to support her and compliment her?

      There’s also the Well Rounded Mama’s blog –although that’s geared primarily towards women who start out larger than your friend, it seems to be (I’ve never been pregnant myself) helpful with counter-information when doctors and midwives hassle and/or use scare tactics.

      • Cool! I get to drive past a miniature horse farm on the way to work. Watching the cute ponies usually makes my day much better.

  2. I’m working on self acceptance no matter my size,and I’m a work in progress. I don’t know if I will ever be happy where I am, but what choice do I really have?
    I think part of the reason that this (FA)is so scary for people is that they’re afraid that they might become fat and that simply horrifies some people. I worked with a woman years ago that smoked and was talking about wanting to quit. She said that if she tried to quit she was afraid that she would eat and gain weight, and she couldn’t allow that to happen. When I asked why, she said that if she gained weight, her husband would leave her. She was probably about a size 6-8, and had always been thin. She said she would rather risk cancer and dying from the cigarettes than gaining weight.
    Pretty sad that we live in a culture that would rather die thin and live being overweight.

  3. “It doesn’t matter if I “Believe” in it. It exists. Deal with it!”

    Exactly, and I’d add-if I understand it- too, haters seem to think that there understanding of things determines existence. That’s wrong too.

  4. When I see an ignorant jerk who doesn’t believe ALL human beings should be treated with respect and dignity… I think, “Must suck to be you.” I do not even want to attempt to imagine what it must be like to live in such an ignorant and cruel mind. It’s far more satisfying to live in the land of unicorns. 😉

  5. You know, if the failing to believe thing worked, I’d never have to clean the toilet again.


    Meh. Scrubbing the toilet is worth it in return for people loving me no matter how big or small my waistline happens to be.

  6. It is good to find others who know the secrets of roundness. I look at it this way….. If the Earth were flat, life would be boring, we would only know one part of her. But having a round Earth in motion, she twirls round telling all who love her to hold on for the ride of their lives!

  7. As a co-worker of mine aptly put it when another co-worker for whom English is a second or third language asked “Do you believe in Gay?”: “It doesn’t matter if I “Believe” in it. It exists. Deal with it!”

    Dude. YES. This is the sort of thing I always want to say to people when they go “I don’t believe in that”. Hate to break it to you, but unlike leprechauns and unicorns or Santa or the Easter Rabbit, these things you don’t agree with exist. And you really just sound like a moron who can’t phrase sentences appropriately. I’m a firm believer that saying “I don’t believe in ____” when referring to a social/cultural thing automatically makes you sound stupider.

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