I have been hemming and hawing (love that phrase, I always imagine a sort of huge tree-saw going back and forth over the choices of my dilemma du jour) lately over taking my wedding band and engagement ring off and out to get enlarged. What finally made me decide this was a good choice was realizing that I wasn’t easily able to GET them off of my fingers after 3 years of having them on. And, as anyone who has ever struggled to get a ring off of a larger finger (ie: larger than when the ring first went on); I became a bit panicked and struggled harder, making my finger even warmer and more resistant to letting the rings go.
One good suggestion from a mall-store jewelry woman* and much calming-down time later (a few days actually and a bit of colder weather) and I was finally able to slide the rings from my finger with some lotion and some mental chanting along the lines of “you’re okay, you’re fine, don’t struggle”. And seeing the tightly impressed mark lining my poor finger I became even further resolved that I have made a good decision.
Just as I finally pulled out all of the “Pushed to the Back” clothing from my closet last weekend and put it aside for donations (seriously; stuff from like a decade and 4-5 sizes ago was still lingering around and taking up valuable closet real estate!); it was time to admit that re-sizing my ring was no more a reflection of my worth as a human being than getting rid of unused clothing or refusing to be weighed at the doctors or choosing to only find physical activities I like doing rather than gerbil-wheeling it.
And now I just can’t wait to get these rings finally cleaned up and back to a size that doesn’t make my finger permanently indented!
Taking the little beauties to the location where hubby and I purchased our wedding bands was a good experience. The cost to enlarge the rings is something I consider substantial but worth it. I also discovered that my finger was 2 to 2.5 (one ring was half a size larger) sizes smaller than my rings. No wonder I wasn’t able to easily remove the buggers! And all because I was still falling into that mental trap of not wanting to hone up and move up that larger size. Very much akin to refusing to get rid of clothing one or two sizes smaller and never worn, I was trying to convince myself that things were still “fine” when really, just as I would no longer try to force my lovely body into jeans that were too tight, I needed to realize that I was doing exactly that with the rings on my finger and such behaviors and thoughts needed to stop.
So now my rings are “in the shop” until this coming weekend and I really look forward to beautiful and cleaned rings, which I did manage to remove before it became necessary to cut them off (which was the thought that finally made me pony up to the idea of enlargement). Every time I rub my ring finger now I feel that indented bit of flesh where my finger was for so long bruised and forced to submit to too tiny and tight pieces of metal. I feel I owe my poor finger an apology and hope that the soon-to-be-enlarged rings will make up for my long days of hesitation!
This self acceptance road is indeed a tricky slope to navigate, filled with obstacles not even anticipated. Being honest about needing to increase my ring size? Pants and other clothes, yes, but jewelry? I don’t remember getting any memo about that little trauma that would be found along the way! Yet I feel like now I’m plodding along with a bit larger smile, a happier finger, and just a tiny bit more knowledge for continuing to wander the path ahead. Go me.
*Apparently Windex is very slippery and eases rings off of tight fingers.