When you refuse to play the game. OR, why people hate that I don’t eat donuts.

tah-dah pose

Hi! Beautiful donut-hating fatty here. Spoiling all your stereotypes!

I don’t eat donuts.  And some people just HATE that.

Here’s the thing.  I’m a huge fatty.  Morbidly obese by BMI standards.  I hate donuts.

Because of these facts, people really seem to resent me when donuts are brought into the office at work.  Why? Because I don’t like to play along with the game of “Hey, as long as the FATTY has a donut, it clears my conscience for ME to have one (or more)”.

Why don’t I eat something that everyone KNOWS fatties can’t seem to resist?  Well, quite aside from my many years of working summers and evenings at a local Polish bakery and seeing how the things were made; which is quite enough to turn you off of eating them all on its own; it’s because I KNOW that donuts end up making me feel awful.  In fewer than 20 minutes after eating a donut I KNOW it will feel like there is a lead bullet lodged in my digestion.   Unless I am CERTAIN that I am willing to put up with the pain and suffering that eating even those cute little donut “holes” will unerringly cause; I just. don’t. eat them.  End of story.

It isn’t a moral virtue that I somehow manage to “hold back” some ravenous desire to devour the world’s donuts.  I don’t like how they make me feel.  I’ve stopped the roller-coaster train that is weight-loss dieting and so I’ve finally come to terms with this fact: donuts make me feel not-my-best.  They aren’t worth it to me anymore.  In truth, there are quite a few things I no longer eat because the seductive allure of their inherently “sinful” nature has been completely removed in the years since I stopped dieting, making them once again plain old amoral food choices that I choose to avoid due to the way they affect my body’s system.

However, because of this insane world in which we live and its insistence upon diet-talk bonding behaviors; people don’t LIKE when I don’t follow the social rules and join the group-think, declaring myself “so Baaaaad!” and eating the Forbidden Sugar Fruit along with the rest of the hungry hordes.

Listen.  It ISN’T some kind of “Oooo look at me!  I’m so VIRTUOUS!  I’ve got all this WILLPOWER to stay away from those rings of deliciously naughty goodness.”  I’m not trying to get people to ask me how it is I can remain so pure and avoid this world-wide love for the magical donut (or cake, as the case may be, in Catherine Tate’s amusing bit about such diet-bonding behavior).  I just don’t like the little buggers enough for me to want to pay-up, 20 minutes later, via an unhappily clenching stomach and painful waves of indigestion.  It isn’t worth it to me anymore.

And yet, because I won’t lather into a frenzy over the idea that “Someone brought in… donuts!  They’re in the KITCHEN!  You should hurry before there aren’t any LEFT!” I get the distinct and almost hostile feeling that I’m not “doing it right” and therefore denying others their own ability to feel a bond-in-food with everyone over how decadent and naughty we’re all being.

Meanwhile, I just don’t know how I can be more assertive than to assure folks that “No, thanks I don’t want a donut.  I’m sure.  Yes, I’m really sure.  Those things are, I’m sure, very delicious but they make me feel like shit.  Yes, I’m sure I won’t have one. No, not even if YOU have one.   Honestly, I don’t care if you want one!  Eat it!!!!”  Seriously folks, do you need the fatty to join you in your perceived food-sinning in order to feel like it is okay?  As if only if you are eating less than (or as much as?) the largest woman in the room can you feel alright about your food choices???  Is this culture REALLY that bizarre with its food hang-ups?!?!?

I want to ask you: what sort of foods do you avoid eating that get you looked at with disbelief? Do you HATE the crunch of carrots and get raised eyebrows when you avoid them because they are the perfect “diet food” (or were, at any rate, before sugar-fears made them a “naughty diet food”)?  Do you despise the way that cream cheese frosting feels in your mouth and get gasps of surprise when you don’t agree to partake in the wonders of a thus-frosted piece of cake?

Yet, how often does anyone actually respond to such gasps, groans, joking and amazement with the simple, “You know, my choice to eat this, or not, should not affect your ability to enjoy it!  Go on and eat it, happily!”?  I know I don’t think of saying that.  But I’m thinking that I will begin to do so.

I am sick of feeling like somehow my lack of desire in joining folks in their merry Donut-Sin-Party somehow diminishes everyone else’s fun and food enjoyment. I don’t play that game anymore. And maybe saying that simple phrase above could help encourage others to realize that it ISN’T about what is on someone else’s plate or making sure that you’re keeping just a bit less on there than the fatty; it’s about enjoying what you’ve CHOSEN to happily eat from your own plate. Even if that choice happens to be NOT the donut that everyone else is coo-ing over!

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45 thoughts on “When you refuse to play the game. OR, why people hate that I don’t eat donuts.

  1. You should be free to eat or not eat what you like without explanations. I like a donut (or, more accurately, a bismarck, the cream jam filled yeast donuts) occasionally, but not on a daily basis, & what I eat is no one else’s business.

    As an aside, I am not certain what is such a turn-off about how donuts are made. I have actually made homemade donuts, & no animals or were slaughtered, or questionable animal parts mixed into the batter. It is a pretty simple mixture of flour, sugar, leavening, eggs, spices or other flavorings, perhaps water or milk, yeast, for yeast donuts, which are fried in hot vegetable oil. It can make a mess to clean up, but it is not really stomach-turning. I find it a colossal pain to make them from scratch & when I want one, I want one, not 40, so I buy them when I choose. But, back to the discussion at hand, when I eat a donut, what kind, or how many, is not a big deal. I am sorry if your co-workers are so caught up the culture dysfunction that they make a simple thing like eating into some wild party of group gorging, followed by group self-flagellation. People really need to lighten up about body size, food, eating habits, “good” or “bad” foods, & conflation of food choices with morality. For God’s sake, people, EAT IT or DON’T eat it…but shut the hell up about it!

    • Patsy I couldn’t agree more about the just “eat it or don’t and hush up”! For me the process of making donuts involved taking frozen shells out of a freezer, setting them into a disgustingly dirty deep-fryer, pumping them full of jelly on a dubiously cleaned machine and then tumbling them in caked powdered sugar. The entire room in which the process took place was incredibly filthy; to the point where you could FEEL the grease congealing on your skin as you walked in during the heat of summer. It was, for me, the ick of that particular place’s process which turned my stomach; not so much the concept of donut making in itself. Should have pointed that out above, sorry!

  2. Pretty much the only time I have these kinds of conversations with anyone is when my mum berates herself over not being able to say no to some snack food or other, offers some to me and, should I happen to not feel like having any at that time, expresses wonder at my will power (which is, of course, nonsense). But I’ve never felt that she was waiting for me to eat in order to justify her own indulgence. I’m sure I know people who would think this way but I guess I’m not with them when there’s food around.

    The office I work in consists of four people and I’m only there 2 days a week. The only things I’ve been offered in two years there is the occasional beer and, one time only, apples! I’ve said yes to both, except when the beer offer was made half an hour before I had to drive home 😉

    Btw, hello 🙂 I came here via someone’s link (can’t remember who) to your “Be the fatty that you dreamed you’d be when thinner” post, your blog is fabulous and you are gorgeous!

    • Thanks mimbles! And I’ve never been offered fruit at work before but have been offered (at a job long ago; the bakery actually) vodka. O.o I did decline that one!

  3. I like a donut once in a very blue moon. A few weeks ago I had a sudden craving for donut holes, but I think it was the first time I had a donutty treat in at least three years. I ate three donut holes, was well satisfied, and probably won’t particularly want more donut for another couple years. If there happen to be donuts and I feel like a sweet treat, I may have one. Or I may not. Depends on the quality of the donuts and my mood at the time.

    The thing that weirds people out about me is that I don’t drink. I hate it when people feel like they need to apologize to me for choosing to have a damn beer or glass of wine. My choice isn’t based on morality that I want to force on others or an established pattern of alcoholism on my part. Rather I discovered in my youth that I just plain didn’t like how it tasted. That, combined with a recognition that my behavior patterns could easily lead to a variety of addictions, made me decide that I was better off listening to my mouth and the history of alcoholism on my mother’s side of the family and leaving the stuff alone. I haven’t had a drop in over thirty years, and I’m absolutely content with my choice.

    But I honestly don’t give a crap whether anyone else on the planet chooses to imbibe. If you want a drink around me, go ahead and have the drink. Don’t explain, don’t excuse yourself, don’t try to talk me into joining you. Just have your drink and enjoy it. I’m happy over here with my water or juice or ginger ale or iced tea… or whatever the hell I’m drinking. I’m still drinking something I like. It just doesn’t have alcohol in it.

    • Twistie I’ve been avoiding alcohol as well for many months now since I find that my post-drinking body is not usually happy with me! And I’ve also noticed how people feel self-conscious for some reason; as if by me NOT drinking it makes them a bad (or worse!) person FOR drinking! When really I don’t give an arse as long as I have something tasty to sip and they aren’t being scary drunk at me!

  4. I’m starting to realize that certain foods don’t automatically match up to the “type” of people who eat them. I’m not overweight, I just ran 8 miles last night (because I enjoy it and am training for a half-marathon), and I also just ate 3 cake donuts for a snack. People probably think I’m hurting my training or that I would be leaner and faster if I didn’t eat stuff like that once in a while. But I don’t care. I train hard and I eat because training makes me hungry.

  5. I think what tends to happen in an office is that everyone wants EVERYONE else to eat the doughnuts, candy, etc. This, I think, is party because they want the doughnuts to be gone, so they won’t be tempted to eat more, and partly because the more people that eat doughnuts, the less diet guilt there is. I think there also tends to be a slight undercurent of “sabotage the thin coworkers,” on the opposite end of the spectrum.

    Office politics are weird, especially when you work in an office full of women. 😐

  6. Ice cream. As a child, I was allergic to milk, and then I was lactose intolerant. I probably COULD eat it by now, but after fifteen years of associating the taste of milk with being violently ill, it just kind of lost it’s appeal. But not liking ice cream or frozen yoghurt? You’d think I was some sort of mutant.

  7. I am also a non-drinking weirdo, Twistie. I hate the taste of all alcohol, I have enough problems controlling my body because I have CP so that I really do not need to add being drunk to the mix, & I DO have many emotional/psychological triggers connected to drinking, because I was raised by abusive alcoholic parents & survived rough years with a husband who was abusive & obnoxious when he drank. I kind of do care if other people drink, because I both hate & fear how people behave under the influence of alcohol & I prefer the company of sober people whenever possible.

    I also do not drive or have a license, so I get it all around…& I am that non-drinking, no-driving weirdo.

  8. I’m with Twistie and Patsy on the non-drinking weirdo train, just because I don’t like the taste. In fact, do you ever have people try to get you to feel like you’re actively spoiling an entire party just by not drinking?

    The eating issue I get the most grief about is being a vegetarian, which I’ve been since I was 8 years old. I often have people try to convince me to try just a little meat (what? really??) and get offended when I don’t, and because I’m not thin I’ve even gotten lovely comments such as, “Oh, I thought all vegetarians were skinny!” Or “Why do something so extreme if you’re not losing weight?”

    I think some folks really have a hard time not projecting their own food issues onto others.

    • Mae M you might have something there with the projection idea. I think there is such a huge fear around if we’re all doing the “food thing” in the “right” way that people are always looking for those outliers, just so they can prove they are still following all the rules and, if they can while they’re at it, try to “herd” those outliers (like non-drinkers, vegetarians, non-chocolate lovers like my brother, etc) back into the cult of “food-habit normalcy”. It is honestly bizarre the vibe you get when people reach the point of being almost visibly disturbed that you don’t want to eat meat or drink alcohol or eat that community donut or greedily snatch at a piece of proffered chocolate.

      As Rabbit suggested; office politics are indeed weird. It brings to mind actually the year I worked in an office where I had hung a cute little stocking of chocolate kisses and peanut butter cup-lets and other mini treats on the edge of my cubicle with a note to “help yourself and ease a moment of stress” or some such nonsense to give a bit of holiday spirit to a very over-worked end of December work-crunch. Some folks acted like I was literally actively shoving the chocolate down their gullets and depriving them of their hard-earned diet bragging powers. They wanted me to take that thing down (which I actually found out I had to fill every day because people were insatiable) because it was seen as some sort of act of sabotage. Because ya know the fatty totally hate anyone who happens to be smaller than her; misery loves company or something??? Totally mind-blowing!

  9. I hate that. I don’t eat donuts either. Although I’ve always wanted to try a Crispy Creme (probably advertising). I also don’t drink soda. Correction. I will ask for a soda probably two times a year when we go but then I realize, I don’t like this and end up leaving 3/4s behind. I always wonder how people drink so much pop. I do however like brownies with icing. But I don’t sit around eating cake pans of them. I hate it when people go on about their weight as their stuffing their face and usually, there’s nothing wrong with their weight. Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? I just don’t get it. Enjoy it and move on. There are more important things to worry about. And more interesting things to talk about.

  10. Some people love to police other people’s eating. It is annoying to work with those people!

    I do like donuts, but I know what you mean about working in a donut bakery turning you off the donuts. My dad worked as a fry cook in a beachfront restaurant 65+ years ago, and he still doesn’t like fried seafood of any kind.

  11. I’m not a big pie fan. Once in a blue moon I enjoy a good piece of coconut cream or French Silk, but it’s one dessert I can do without. However, us fatties are supposed to love it so much we eat it nonstop.

    When it comes to so-called “good” foods, cucumbers. I learned quickly that eating them will cause bloating, gas and indigestion. Both my grandparents couldn’t handle them either, so it’s a genetic thing. But sometimes people I don’t know will ask me why I don’t eat them, so I have to explain. It’s sad that people will accept the reason of foods making you sick as an excuse to not eat them, instead of just accepting there are certain foods we don’t just have a desire for.

  12. I have engaged in evil food placement. Once upon a time, I had the WORST supervisor at the insurance company where I worked. She was going for higher levels thru college at the time and would come back from class (she could flex her hours, we peons could not) and wax philosophical about nursing theory at my desk. She would engage in all levels of body shaming (she was thinner than me, but not thin by any stretch) right around the time I was in the infancy stages of body acceptance. Lots of assumptions that my size had to do with no will power, etc and said directly to my face. It was a hard time. It got to the point where I became “No More Mrs Nice Nurse” and got very passive aggressive with her. I knew her food weaknesses and I stocked my desk to the hilt. I kept things that don’t necessarily float my boat, but challenged her. Soon, she was over at my desk getting food all the time. She finally questioned me how I could sit next to those goodies- and I responded with “Guess I have more will power…” Eventually, I had some long talks with her about how nasty she had been and what body acceptance was. Whatev.

  13. i too dont drink…i never really liked the taste anyway or the way it made me feel sick to my stomach. And then i had an abusive alcoholic boyfriend in college who would beat the snot out of me while drunk… yea alcohol is disgusting. but SO many people want me to have it, to drink as social lubricant. so i take the offered beer, force myself to swallow 2 sips…and then never get anohter one all night.

    and i DO care about drunk people around me. they smell like alcohol. they drive badly…they are obnoxious and often to them no doesnt mean no. frankly i cant belive that certian things (aka pot) are illegal and alcohol is legal….

    but such is the fucked up political world in which we live

  14. French Fries. They’re either undercooked and crunchy (and there’s very little I dislike as much as the texture of undercooked potatoes (which is why I don’t eat commercial potato salad either)), or overcooked, greasy, and limp. I realized a number of years ago I was eating them not because I liked them or wanted them, but because they were what most burgers and sandwiches came with – which seemed supremely stupid to me. So now I get the coleslaw or side salad and hear all about my “willpower” – what kind of willpower is it not to eat something you didn’t want in the first place?

    I do enjoy special fries once in awhile, like those seasoned with black truffles, but I have a few, enjoy them, and then I’m done.

    As for donuts…I remember all the hype about Krispy Kreme, how they were supposed to be manna from heaven, and how when I finally tried one, hot off the line, my reaction was….it’s a donut. It’s a good donut, it’s tasty, but it’s just a donut. We live more or less walking distance from one now, and I’ve never gone there. People look at me funny, but I just don’t get it. To each their own.

    And oh yeah, I hate raw carrots. I always have. (I’m not fond of them at all until they’re so overcooked they don’t taste like carrot at all.)

  15. I am so with you on this.

    A couple of months ago, I went out with a friend, and one of her friends I’d only met once before. Of the three, I was the fattest one and friend of my friend (FOMF) was probably an Inbetweenie.

    Before lunch FOMF was talking about getting a dessert and I may have made a comment about how they did look good. I was in no way, shape, or form going ZOMG Dessert, definitely going to get some of that. It was like, maybe I’ll have dessert, maybe I won’t.

    But I found after my lunch, that was pleasantly full. And this chick starts going on about getting dessert because her meal was so bland and it would make up for it.

    Was I getting dessert? No, I’m actually quite satisfied. Are you sure? We can split a dessert. No thanks.

    Etc. ETC.

    Then as we were paying she bought one of their readymade pastries and was like “You guys can share this with me!”

    Nope. But the whole time we were having this dessert dialogue, I just had the feeling that she was trying to make me her naughty eating buddy, or if like, the fattest girl at the table had it that would make it okay.

    Because she didn’t try to pressure our mutual friend the way she did me. Sigh.

    • Eli that sort of pressure is just what I hate feeling because it really does feel like someone pouting because you refuse to join in the perceived “naughty social food-bonding” event and ruins their fun somehow? Which I just don’t get! why couldn’t FOYF have just eaten the few bites she wanted and taken the rest of the pastry home?? Part of it is, I think, linked to that highly damaging mantra that I know I heard all growing up “Finish what’s on your plate! There are starving children!” such a bad mentality that I think really wrecks a lot of people’s food relationships right there!

  16. I get this all the time because I don’t have a sweet tooth (something I discovered thanks to HAES and intuitive eating!) and I often pass on dessert. People *always* comment on this, which I find very rude, since I never comment on other people’s eating habits. They often try to bully me into “treating myself”, “being naughty”… or my absolute favourite: “come on, live a little!” This always makes me think: Excuse me? Live a little? I live A LOT, thank you very much! In fact, contrary to what you might imagine, seeing as I am a fat lady and all that, I live life to the fullest. And, most importantly, my life-living does not depend upon the ingestion of sweet foods. My, what a depressing existence it must be to let a donut be the absolute highlight of your week!

  17. What to say about myself: This Fatty-fat-fat chick likes donuts and I don’t care what anybody thinks of me unless I solicit the criticism; only every once-in-a-while is that even about my body. If other people need to have the fat chick eat the donuts to calm their own fatty-guilt so they can eat the donuts, more to them. But I don’t think it works that way. I saw a media report on a “study” suggesting when the fatty eats the “bad food” in a group setting, the rest of the people in the group will go for healthier options, and if we were to reverse that with a thin person eating the “bad” food, then everyone indulges because if the thin person is, we all can. Who cares what other people think, it’s not going to affect how I feel about myself. To indulge/not-to-indulge never happens for me when it come to donuts, and I eat like three of them in the office in front of everyone! I love donuts!

    Cheers,

    K

    • K I did wonder about that study but didn’t want to bring it to much light since I was only working on my own anecdotes here at least: those around me in my life who have behaved in such a pressuring or disbelieving manner when confronted with the fatty who won’t eat whatever the “sinful treat du jour” happens to be. And I love hearing that you so joyfully enjoy the donuts, in front of everyone, without regard to whether that makes THEM comfortable or not. 🙂 Truly awesome I think to be at a point when you can just eat what you want/need/desire and enjoy every moment I think.

  18. Oh I love donuts and can probably eat three or four in a sitting but then I have a wicked sweet tooth. I just don’t get them much because I can’t afford them (self-employed artist). The last time though I had a real craving for them was on a trip to Vegas and the SW with my sister, but holy cow I couldn’t believe it, there were no donut shops there. We drove around southern Utah and northern Arizona for the last couple days looking, but nothing. Nothing at all. We almost couldn’t comprehend it. But then we’re from New England and even in my small town there are two Dunkin’ Donuts within sight of each other down in the village!

    First thing my sister did when we got back to Logan airport was buy a bunch of donuts for us to share.

    Anyway, I’m I guess an in-betweenie, size-wise, and I am just so damned glad I work for myself now and don’t have to deal with office politics any more. When I did work it was mostly around men, usually fellow oddball artsy sorts, and so I didn’t hear too much shit from the body police. Or maybe I did, but I was oblivious. That’s a distinct possibility. 🙂

  19. I like donuts, but not Krispy Kremes. For some reason, they turn into lead bricks in my stomach when other types do not.
    Anyway, for me the ‘meh’ foods are some fatty meats like ribs, chicken wings, fried chicken, etc. If I’m hungry and there’s nothing else available, I’ll eat them, but I don’t like them very much. But people seem shocked that I don’t like ribs.
    I’m also not into pie, even though I do have a sweet tooth.

  20. Thanks for the explanation of your work conditions, April. I am surprised the place was not closed down by the Board of Health &, believe me, I would not want donuts from that place either. I was just curious because usually when someone says something like, “If you saw how they were made”, he is referring to hot dogs or something of that kind. I personally almost never eat a hot dog & if I do, it has to be a Hebrew National pure beef hot dog, because I saw on tv how they are made & the high quality cuts of meat which are used, so I can stand one once or twice in a year, covered with onions, mustard & relish. I also love breakfast sausage & hot Italian sausage, but only in patties or in bulk. We all have our peculiarities about food & our own tastes.

    • Patsy, during the First Bush Recession (ie the Recession of the First Bush), I fried doughnuts at Safeway for 6 months. The conditions were much better than what April is talking about but, oh, almost 20 years later, I still gag at the thought of the oil. And it was clean and filtered and blah blah blah, but everything smelled of oil. My hair, on the way home. My work clothes, no matter how many times I washed them. The floor was slippery with oil. And the liquid glaze… shudder.

      I think that, even under the best of circumstances, something like that can just overwhelm, and once overwhelmed… well, that’s that.

      Seattle’s Top Pot doughnuts are by all accounts excellent, and some day I might be able to see if I can special order a plain one with no icing.

  21. I like a good donut not and then, preferably glazed. Pancakes, hotcakes, whatever you call them, no. They sit in my stomach like lead so I avoid them. Ribs, fried chicken, barbequed anything, all turn offs.

    Luckily I share an office with one person and there is definitely no food or fat shaming.

  22. Lord knows I love a good doughnut, but I rarely eat them. It’s not because they make me feel wretched physically, they just don’t make me feel good emotionally. They have no nutritional value, so I try not to eat them. In all honesty, if it was a choice between a doughnut and a bowl of fresh, ripe wassermelone (or berries of any sort), the fruit would win. I like eating things that are good for me, and in summers, I eat a lot of wassermelone!

    The food I avoid eating in public (and in private, actually) are crisps because everyone knows that’s how I got so heavy in the first place, obviously by troughing on bags of crisps. RIIIIIIIIIGHT.

    And the one food I avoid lately because it just makes me feel horrible are eggs. My sis has the same problem…think it’s a food allergy. Feels like gravel in my stomach.

    Y’know, it occurs that larger folks can’t win. Take the notion of someone’s birthday in an office. If someone tells you, “Hey, there’s cake…go have some!”, you have two choices: one is to say, “No thanks…you go ahead” and the thought is, “Well, good for you, honey…that’s the right step in shedding some of that tub”, and the second is “Sure, I’ll have a piece right now…” and the thought is, “Of course you will…I can tell you’re a person who never says no to cake.”

    The point being…there’s no right answer here, really!

  23. Just wanted to add a note which is a bit off-topic, but I feel the need to vent a bit…I was just checking out a list of ‘bad habits’ which affect our health which can be changed at when I checked my yahoo email account. Actually, I have very few of the ‘bad habits’, pretty much none, except maybe for imperfect posture & a sweet tooth. However, it has me nearly tearing my hair out (& one would think after more than 30 years as part of the fat acceptance movement, I would be used to the media/medical establishment bullshit & blindness) to see that body weight (overweight) is listed as a ‘bad habit’, rather than as the almost entirely genetically-caused natural variation in the sizes & shapes of body, & of course indicted as a major ’cause’ of heart disease, diabetes, stroke….yadda, yadda, yadda. Absolutely, being fat is a bad habit, caused, of course, by our constant consumption of the above-discussed donuts.

    • Patsy those Yahoo things always make me batty. I’ve set my home page now to my email page instead of that home page because unerringly the “top stories” are either some celebrity’s weight gain/loss or “tips” on how being fat is The Bad! *sigh*

  24. Thanks for the tip, April. I will have to do that. They always have something about diet, ‘bad’ food or ‘super’ foods.

  25. Wow! We could just about form a club of People Who Hate the Taste of Alcohol. Include me in that group. Especially beer – even the smell of it nauseates me.
    Another thing that sometimes gets to people is that I don’t have a tv and don’t want to own one. It has been so very many years since I watched on a regular basis that even the style of today’s tv annoys me when I see it. Ads are more intrusive than ever, and the screen action jumps around far too much for my liking.
    Like Patsy, I also don’t drive – but then, I live in a city with good public transit where a lot of people don’t drive, so this is not terribly odd.
    However, I do like donuts, although I don’t eat them that often. And definitely with chocolate when I do.

  26. When I was avidly low-carbing (to combat my PCOS and hypothyroidism), I worked as a cake decorator in a bakery. Most people would think it’s the ultimate temptation, to be denying sugar yet be surrounded by it, but actually, it was great. If you work in a bakery (an active one, not one where they just heat things up from frozen), there’s so much free-flowing sugar that it gets everywhere…on your skin, in your hair, in your mouth when you breathe. I’d go through at least 2 liters of water per 5 hour shift. Awful. And I was never tempted to snitch a crumb of anything.

    And I’m proud to say that I only ever ate one cake doughnut in the two years of working there, to celebrate my anniversary. But by that point I’d broken my sugar addiction pretty well that the taste was overwhelming and actually made me a bit sick. Ever since then (and that was about 9 years ago), I’ve had a very hard time with anything hugely sweet, even some fruit. What I really seem to enjoy these days are steamed veg, especially a nice crunchy courgette with a bit of cheese. But you gotta go with what your body tells you it wants and what it won’t have, don’t you…

  27. I don’t eat doughnuts either- can’t stand the oil used to fry them.
    People who give you funny looks or pass remarks are just projection- so reject what they project!

  28. I’m funny about cake. While I love the LOOK of cake (are cakes the prettiest things in the world?), there are very few cakes that I actually like. I’m picky about texture, about the level of sweetness, the moisture level, the icing (or lack of), the scent, and so forth. Most cakes leave me pretty cold.

    But very occasionally, I really get the yearning for cake. And then I become weird about finding cake that will actually appeal to me. It’s like a massive cake-hunt. Usually I’m left disappointed by whatever I do find though.

    You know what makes people respond weird when they see fatty me ordering/eating it? Vegetarian food. Or steamed food in Chinese restaurants. I LOVE both vegetarian food and steamed Chinese food. Folks always expect the fatty to reach for the deep fried stuff.

    And skim milk. I can’t drink full cream milk, it plays merry hell on my tum, so I usually go for lactose free in my coffee, or if I can’t get that, skim. I’ve had people react strange over the fatty ordering skim milk too.

  29. I don’t like chocolate cake. I just find it absurdly rich and I don’t enjoy it at all. I’d much rather have a nice red velvet cake or a vanilla cake or even banana cake. I just don’t. Like. Chocolate cake.

    Similarly but different, I prefer skim milk to full cream milk. Not because I think it will keep me lovely and slim (ha!) but because we’ve had skim milk in my house my whole life and I’m *used* to it. Full cream milk tastes revolting to me. Yet whenever I ask for my latte with skim milk, I feel like I’m getting the nod of approval from anti-fat folks. Ugh. I don’t want your approval, I just like skim milk better!!

    Sometimes I like to order a huge slice of (not chocolate) cake with my skinny latte just to mess with them 😀

  30. I’m another non-fan of cake. I used to pretend I liked it, because everyone does. I don’t mind the odd cake, but I can easily say no. I often don’t feel like it.

    I have my food issues, and I think I can vaguely understand the group sin mentality a little. Cake, and the brownies I make, are probably the only 2 foods I can make sensible judgements about. I genuinely decide if I want them. So many other foods I eat if they are there, regardless of the consequences. I feel less incompetent when other people do the same.

    As much as you are dead right that there is a “eating not more than the fattest person in the room” factor, I think there is also an element of general hopelessness with food. And yet, I have no right as a food incompetent to project my uselessness on others, irrespective of their size. I wish I knew what my point was. I’ve been on both sides of the fence maybe? And you speak sense. 🙂

  31. I. HATE. BACON.

    And for the most part, I’ll pass on potato chips. I can consume a basically endless amount of sugary foods and/or baked goods, but things with that level of grease factor make me feel like I’m going to puke almost instantaneously. My friends are fairly feminist and understand fat acceptance, so I think most of their disbelief centers on the purported universal deliciousness of such foods. But it’s still so annoying.

  32. Pingback: Tweets that mention When you refuse to play the game. OR, why people hate that I don’t eat donuts. « I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape. -- Topsy.com

  33. I hate cheesecake, and do not like chocolate after a meal. Which means that, like I have so much willpower you guys. I win the diet.

  34. Know THIS ONE well. Also seems to irk people when I’m not running, scrapping, clawing to be the first on line when a free-Buffett hits the lunch room. Every. Single. One of them seems to feel compelled to inform me that ‘there’s food in the lunch room’. As though It might be possible to NOT know this and particularly when they’re tripping back for 3rd’s or a take-home plate (don’t these people HAVE food @ home?) and notice that j haven’t even eaten yet. When I’m @ work? THAT’S what I’m there to do. I’ll eat when I’m ready, thanks.

  35. I hate all Chinese food (American style chinese food, anyway). Apparently that makes me a freak.
    Also, I have type 2 so I rarely eat sweets/chips/bread etc. Not that I don’t like that type of food, I just don’t like it enough to feel crappy afterward. I decline and people actually question me about why I won’t have whatever they’re offering. I’ve gotten to the point that I tell them I’m a diabetic and it shuts them up. However, seeing as how my life is my own, I will eat a damn donut if I feel like it and everyone else can STFU.

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