PostSecret.com had two very poignant cards up for this Sunday that I wanted to just point out and share today.
The first shows a young athlete who says sharing the photos taken of them was out because they felt “Too Fat”.
I’d be interested to hear how they feel now and, from the feeling I get from this postcard’s tone, I imagine it would be a more wistful feeling of “WHY?!? did I think that???” The same sort of feeling I just had over this weekend when I happened to see a very old (10 years or so) video of myself dancing and had to cluck over that beautiful (and far-thinner-than-me-now) girl who, at that moment in dancing, had been dieting and hating herself as a Fattie…while being vastly smaller than this currently non-dieting version of April D!
Which leads nicely into this other postcard:
Indeed! Like this postcard writer, I am the largest woman that I’ve ever been. I AM the size at which I once used to childishly scoff and sneeringly warn my mother or friends that if I ever GOT this large I was to be shot or “put out of my misery” or needless other hateful things for which I still feel cringes of embarrassing guilt even now (the sorts of things that Google is ever-so-helpfully willing to let you search for).
Yet, having gotten “here”, I don’t feel that I should be shamed or punished for the shape or size of my body. Instead, most days, I DO feel beautiful too. Perhaps that is in large part a lucky benefit of being partnered, an aspect of my life I am loath to take for granted.
Still, in a world where that first young person was hating themselves for their perceived fatness, the very idea that women like the second (and myself) can and DO feel beautiful is no small miracle. And I will take it for the very uplifting thought that it is.
Love knows no bounds, be it size, shape or what-have-you. Self-love, the ability to see beauty in one’s own body, should be equally unbounded!
So, dig out those old photos I say. I will do the same. Make peace with the person you were, and the person you are. Find the beauty in the self you have now.