I’ve noticed, after 2+ years of non-dieting, that the habits I practiced for so much of my life, still can come back with haunting clarity at the oddest moments. This is a collection of a few of the bizarre ways that my near decade of dieting practices have left a mark upon my life. Since I’ve done many different dieting/lifestyle changes in my life, many of them for years, the effects were bound to be long-lasting. I guess sometimes I forget just HOW long-lasting. I am reminded though when moments such as these come upon me.
I’m not sure what counts as “triggering” for folks but thought that since these reflect years of dieting rhetoric that have ingrained themselves into my mind I’d put the warning out there: Some of these might be triggering.
- When I prepare my morning toast; almost EVERY time I find myself thinking “Was that more than a tablespoon of Mayo? Don’t you realize that has 100 calories?! Oh my gods I think that might be 1.5; maybe even 2 whole tablespoons!!”
- Pasta usually makes me ponder how many cups I could get for the fewest points depending on the size of the pasta shape.
- Sometimes while swimming laps I’ll find myself debating doing “just one more” because that would mean more Points to spend later. I still have to shake that one away before I’m able to really analyze if I WANT to go a bit longer or should stop.
So, how do I move past such moments? Usually I can laugh them away with a head shake at my past obsessions; much in the same way I will point at and scoff at the commercials promoting the newest pill/machine/mechanism touted for weight loss online or on tv. Sometimes I have to close my eyes and remind myself that those behaviors and thoughts are no longer a part of my life and I’m happier for it. Still, sometimes they just linger there, little demons of a past destructive life, waiting in the recesses of my mind, waiting for me to succumb again to their siren-song of empty weight-loss promises. I guess that just means that healing a body and mind which has spent so many years fighting against itself is a really long process.
What sort of diet behavior/thought holdovers do you still struggle with? What mechanisms do you use to cope/push away such destructive thoughts and behaviors?