Why Lilacs? Because they're my favorite flower and, like I hope conversations here can be, full of small nuances which make up the larger whole of an amazing blossom.

Here’s the deal.  I am writing about fat, fat acceptance and the myriad of ways in which fat is perceived in our society and our world at large.  Occasionally you might disagree with a point I’ve made and I look forward to hearing another viewpoint.  We can discuss our views with respect and perhaps each learn to look at life from another angle.

That said, however, I am no fool.  I know that there are people who have the simple goal in life (or perhaps just in one day of anger) of finding SOME topic with which they disagree, simply to spew vitriol in the direction of the ideas they find challenging, frightening or too novel.  I understand this.  People fear change.  Hell, I fear change too! I used to quip in high school that, had I been around during the American Revolution, I would have likely been a Tory and not a Whig, simply due to this very basic, very natural, fear of the unknown. Understanding this fear, however, does not mean I will allow for it to be expressed in violent, negative, prejudiced, stereotypically trollish manner.

By all means, make a valid opposing point, supported by evidence and be prepared to discuss.  But do not assume that I am here to be your negativity sounding board so that you can feel better about some facet of your own unhappy life by attempting to shame others.  It just won’t go that way.  So here are the rules.

My round house.  My round rules.

1. First rule ~ Respect each other. It sounds simple.  When it comes right down to it we’re all people.  Remember that before you post something. The person on the other end of your comments is just as real as you are. It is easier to be an asshole to words, than to people. Don’t be an asshole.

2. There is to be no promotion of diets (or “Lifestyle Changes” or any other manner of deliberate weight loss) on this blog. This is about fat acceptance.  About BODY acceptance.  I am not here so that you can fluff your feathers in pride about whatever newest starvation/over-exercise plan has you all in a tizzy of glee.  Here’s a thought; I respect your choice to destroy your own body with Diets.  YOU, in turn, respect my desire to keep my body happy and healthy and diet free.  Okay?  Okay.

3. (And this comes directly from Kate Harding’s own policy) If you are tempted to begin an argument against something we’ve said here with, “God, stop being so PC!” just stop right there. I am proudly PC and have absolutely no intention of stopping. Racist, classist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, and sexist comments are as unwelcome here as sizeist ones. That goes equally for unintentionally offensive language. If someone gets pissy at you for using the word “retarded” for instance, that doesn’t mean they think you’re an evil person who hates developmentally disabled people OR that they’re hysterical, overreacting thought-police. It means there are people around here who find that word hurtful, and we’re a lot more interested in protecting their feelings than your god-given right not to think of a better word.

4. Since this IS my round house; I reserve the rights to make up more rules as time goes by and other issues appear. Basically, be kind, be thoughtful, hell be witty if that is a strong suit.  But in the childish but still valid words of my youth, don’t be mean.  Okay?  Okay.


4 thoughts on “Comments?

  1. hi! i just wanted to say you’re awesome! i love how youre so optimistic about things and make the best out of everything you have =]

  2. Round houses are the best kinds of houses, because the circle lasts forever. It is THE most complex of the geometric shapes, did you know that?

    I appreciate the 3rd rule about ableist language. It’s so common to hear people employ healthist language without even realizing it, and they refuse to acknowledge that they’ve used it. We live in a culture so obsessed with health that we are largely immune to the implications healthist words can cause.

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